Are you there, Mother Dearest?

You know, I never thought I'd hear myself saying this. My parents were right: High school is the best four years of your life. I remember when I used to complain about a two-page essay ... and I still do. In college, I'll be lucky if the introduction doesn't have to be two pages.

Do you remember when you were in grade school and happened to be near a high schooler? "I want to be cool just like them!" I'd say in my prepubescent voice.

They could have sold cocaine on the streets and clipped fingernails for a living and it wouldn't have made any difference. They were cool and in high school! Now I see how horribly immature I act and how much I depend on my mom to pick up after me. There's no way I could be ready for the real world when I can't even remember to put the toothpaste cap back on! I must stay in the safe confines of my familiar home and high school.

My dilemma is I don't know where to go to school. My choices are SEMO and Mizzou and of course my parents aren't all too joyful that I'd rather go to Mizzou.

"Honey, we need to make this decision soon, all right, pumpkin?!" my mom will say to me.

"All right! All right!" I'll say frantically, "Just not today!"

My mom says (violins playing), "Just remember that we support you in the choices you make in life. You're a wonderful young man and I'll do everything I can for you. (Violins come to screeching stop.) Oh, and will you please go to SEMO?"

I can see where she's coming from, since it's cheaper and closer. But almost everyone else I've talked to has said that Mizzou will be worth the cost in the long run. Of course, they're not looking at 500 years of student loans.

And then there's always the dreaded question of what I want to do for the rest of my life. People tell me I should major in journalism, but I don't know.

I used to think I could be nothing but a teacher since both my parents are teachers. Then, I broadened my occupational choices to fireman, policeman AND teacher.

Today I look at those options and realize that I wouldn't be able to stand being around kids for 8 hours a day and I'm not heroic enough to take a bullet or run into a fiery mass. I suppose that narrows it down to journalism or professional wrestling.

I'll look into it, but in the meantime I want you younger children to take full advantage of high school. You only go through it once in your life ... well, hopefully only once. Unless of course you trim fingernails for a living. Then you may be one of those creepy older people going to prom and high school parties.

Sam DeReign is a senior at Oran High School.