A VOICE FOR VICTIMS: THE AGENCY HAS BEEN OPERATING ON ITS 'GOOD GRACES' UNTIL NOW

For Erin, random words and actions can remind her of the summer night when two men broke into her apartment, beat her boyfriend almost unconscious and raped her.

As the calendar date approaches, nearly everything puts her on edge. "It's always in the back of my mind," she said.

Erin is slowly rebuilding her life, but it's taken two years to learn how.

"I still get angry and emotional and I don't always feel safe," she said.

And rape isn't a conversation topic that makes anyone comfortable. But for Erin, it's been important to talk about. She has been a speaker for sexual assault nurse training seminars with the Southeast Missouri Network Against Sexual Violence.

Speaking to nurses and counselors, she reminds them to put the victim first. "Their whole world is shattered and they don't know it will be OK."

Counseling sessions and talking with a priest have helped her confront her range of emotions. But Erin struggled and still does.

She left the hospital the morning after the rape, walking out in silence with family members because nobody knew where to turn next or what to say.

She didn't find the resources available through the Southeast Missouri Network Against Sexual Violence because no one knew enough to tell her about it. Since 1997, NASV has offered services to people of all ages, both genders and no matter when the offense happened. The counselors, nurses and doctors who volunteer their time for NASV try to keep confusion at a minimum, she said. A hospital can't always do that.

Dr. Bill Matzat, director of pastoral care at Southeast Missouri Hospital and a NASV board member, agrees. Emergency rooms don't hold follow up sessions or arrange counseling therapy for rape and sexual assault victims. And not all nurses or staff are trained to handle a sexual abuse examination.

From event to closure

Director Tammy Gwaltney said the agency wants to make the transition from the traumatic event to closure as smooth as possible. Staff members are able to conduct an exam, interview and try to make the client as comfortable with that process as possible.

But the key is to have support systems -- both with personnel and finances -- in place to keep the agency operating. Times have been tough for the agency, which is operating on its "good graces" but seeing more and more cases each year, Gwaltney said.

The agency had 142 children as clients last year, ranging from 16-month-old infants to teen-agers. The network has already seen 75 clients through June of this year. However, statistics show that sexual abuse and rape cases are some of the most under-reported crimes in the nation.

"If there are 60 million adults survivors out there, then it's not a taboo topic. It's happening," Gwaltney said.

NASV serves a 16-county area in Southeast Missouri, and 50 percent of its cases come from Cape Girardeau County.

"If you drew a map of the state and blocked out areas served by other agencies, there is a hole in Southeast Missouri," said Dr. Scott Weiner, a pediatric hospitalist who works as a volunteer.

It used to be that St. Louis hospitals would treat some local cases, but now only clients within a 50-mile radius of those hospitals are accepted, said Weiner.

Without NASV, "those kids in our community would be left out," Weiner said.

Missouri legislators tried to fix that this year when they designated the agency as a child advocacy center, which means it could be supported in part by state funds should they ever be appropriated.

But it could take a minimum of $50,000 to keep operating for the rest of this year. The budget needs could as much as triple if full-time nurses and a social worker were hired.

"What we are doing now is just the tip of the iceberg," said Weiner.

Shame silences victims

Part of the problem Gwaltney faces is that sexual abuse and assault commonly aren't talked about. Sometimes people don't want to tell anyone because of the shame they feel. The victims, especially children, think everyone who sees them knows what's happened.

At NASV, clients who come to report a sexual assault or to be examined aren't forced to tell their story several times. One interview is conducted and videotaped so that police, social services and doctors can all have the same information.

Gwaltney tries to help law enforcement, social workers and families understand the situation and serve as an advocate for the child.

Children who are abused are often stuck in their emotional development.

"Once the abuse starts, their trust is dashed," Gwaltney said. "That's a basic thing to learn and it affects every other relationship. They are stuck at the state where they are broken emotionally and can't trust anybody. Think how that impacts your life. You can't just get on with it. It goes to the core."

To keep its doors open, NASV needs donations and more community support.

WANT TO HELP?

The SEMO Network Against Sexual Violence and the Safe House for Women are sponsoring a walk/run for POWER (Press on with Equal Rights) for victims of violence. The run begins at 7:30 a.m. July 28. Participants should meet at First Presbyterian Church, 235 Broadway. Call Tammy at 332-1900 or Deanna at 335-7745 for more inormation.

Sexual violence facts

* Only 10-20 percent of all rapes are reported.

* Rape is one of the top four violent crimes in the United States, but is the most under-reported of all crimes.

* One in 3 women will experience sexual assault in her lifetime.

* One in 8 men will experience sexual assault in his lifetime.

* Ninety-nine percent of all sexual perpetrators are males.

* Ninety percent of all assault victims are female.

* Fifty percent of all rapists are under age 25. Thirty percent of them are between the ages of 18-24.

* Ninety-five percent of victims know their perpetrators.

* There are an estimated 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the United States.

Source: Network Against Sexual Violence