50 YOUTHS WILL TAKE VOWS OF PURITY AT CHURCH CEREMONY

For many parents, talking about sex and dating relationships with their teen-ager isn't always an easy chore. But it is a necessary one.

Susie Hildebrand didn't have any problems talking with her daughter, Erin, about abstinence and purity.

On Sunday, Erin will make a commitment to remain sexually pure until marriage during a "True Love Waits" ceremony at Lynwood Baptist Church. About 50 youths and their parents will participate in the service at 7 p.m.

"She knows it's not just a commitment to God but to her parents and her future mate and future children," Susie Hildebrand said.

The youths are participating in True Love Waits, a program designed to challenge teen-agers and college students to remain sexually pure until marriage. It began about six years ago and has now developed into an international campaign.

The program asks youths to sign covenant cards signifying their commitments. Many participants wear a ring to symbolize their pledge.

A national display of the pledge cards is planned to span the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco later this year.

With its goal of abstinence and purity, the program might seem like it has more of a social focus than a spiritual one, but that isn't true, said the Rev. Philip Davidson, youth minister at Lynwood.

"The reason they are doing this is because of their relationship to Christ," he said of the youth commitments. "It's purity in all relationships and what that would mean to their relationship to Christ."

Sexual purity is an area where teen-agers really feel peer pressure, Davidson said. "We feel like this is where teens are hit the most."

Davidson and other youth workers at the church have been leading Bible studies and discussions about dating and relationships and how to strike a balance in those relationships.

Getting youths to talk about sex and peer pressure, dating and how it affects their faith as Christians sounds like a difficult task. But Davidson said, "The youth will open up on issues a lot more than you would think."

Parents often don't bring up the subject because it is awkward or they are scared of their child's response, he said.

Parents were also asked to participate in Bible studies as preparation for the TLW service.

True Love Waits is also about accountability. Teen-agers who sign the cards will commit to remaining sexually pure during the service Sunday at Lynwood. But they are also asking for support from family and church members as they face the challenge.

"We are getting a focus on the youth, but that bleeds into the family," Davidson said.

Jake Fish knows that making the TLW commitment isn't something that should be done lightly.

"In the world today, with everything that's going on and people saying it's OK, we are letting people know that it's not OK.

"It's not just not having sex but that we will stay pure."

The commitment service is sort of based on a marriage ceremony: The youth will recite a vow and receive a ring from their parents.

"In a wedding, getting the ring is just the beginning," Davidson said. "It's a commitment that doesn't just come naturally. It's not a one-time deal. It's a constant reminder."

'True Love Waits' commitment:

"Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."

TLW Facts

-- True Love Waits begin 1993 and has spread across the nation and the world. An international display of pledge cards is planned for Dec. 29-31, 1991 near the International Date Line.

-- The grassroots effort began in Southern Baptist churches and has spread to about 20 other denominations.

What is the purpose of True Love Waits?

The campaign has a fourfold purpose:

-- To guide students to make a commitment to sexual abstinence until marriage.

-- To allow students who have made a commitment to abstinence a chance to reaffirm that promise and challenge other students to do so.

-- To guide parents of students to make or reaffirm a commitment to biblical standards of sexual behavior and model a life committed to sexual purity.

-- To give adults a tangible way to affirm and encourage students making a commitment to sexual abstinence until marriage.