Grim college rankings have silver lining

Some students at the University of Missouri-Rolla are peeved over a national ranking of colleges and universities that obviously was intended to make the schools look bad. But a lot of other students and administrators are getting a good laugh.

Keep in mind that there are all kinds of so-called authorities out there that rank institutions of every sort. Some of these rankings are serious and well-grounded. Others are summaries of popularity contests. Also keep in mind that any ranking that makes an institution look good will probably wind up in promotional brochures, while negative rankings will be dismissed as flimsy opinions from suspect sources.

In this case, the UMR rankings were produced by The Princeton Review, a New York publisher of college information and test guides that appears to have nothing to do with nearby Princeton University in New Jersey.

At Rolla, 70 percent of the students are pursuing degrees in engineering. While engineering students frequently endure such labels as "nerds" and "geeks," they tend to wind up having the last laugh. Indeed, nearly all of UMR's engineering graduates have jobs within three months after graduation -- earning an average salary of $47,000. Not bad for students who attend a university that got such a drubbing in the latest rankings.

A closer look at the UMR rankings shows something interesting: While The Princeton Review saw the school's rankings in various categories as negative, most of them have a positive side as well.

For example, UMR ranked first in the nation for "least happy students." Since when are colleges and universities supposed to make students happy? Surely higher education hasn't become a mere venue for feel-good schooling. Getting good grades -- particularly in fields like engineering -- never was easy. Why should it be a snap in the 21st century?

UMR also ranked fifth for "dorms like dungeons." Sorry, but when was the last time you saw a dorm room entered in an interior-design contest? Besides, the Rolla school takes deserved pride in the fact that it is one of the most wired campuses in the nation, with free cable TV and access to free wireless Internet connections.

Other Missouri schools took their hits in the rankings. Truman State University was poked for producing "future Rotarians and Daughters of the American Revolution." That's bad?

Finally, the College of the Ozarks, long noted for its work-for-tuition opportunities for thousands of students over the years, was ranked 12th in the nation for "stone-cold sober schools." The College of the Ozarks might want to hire some extra admissions counselors to handle all the inquiries from parents who think a school that doesn't allow students to drink is a pretty good education investment.