Father's Day event to recognize outstanding dads

Encouraging men to attend church and be strong fathers is the focus of Dads Fest, set for 11 a.m. Sunday at Lighthouse Breakthrough International Ministries in downtown Cape Girardeau.

Apostle Adrian Taylor said a morning service will be held at 121 S. Main St., followed by outdoor activities and awards. Taylor said it will be a family time, and the church is hoping to bring together groups that may not normally cross paths in a "united celebration of fatherhood." He estimates 300 to 400 people could attend.

David Carnel of Sikeston will bring one of his classic cars for display and there will be barbecue and an awards ceremony at 1 p.m.

Eight recognitions will be given out, Taylor said, including two Junior Pillar Awards, a legacy award, fatherhood award, Man of the Year, exceptional business award, businessman of the year and a spiritual growth award.

Taylor said the idea for Dads Fest came from trying to encourage men to be more involved in their spiritual lives and to be more responsible fathers. Traditionally, he said, many churches acknowledge fathers in church, but those same dads might not be there to hear the praise.

Lighthouse Breakthough wanted to do something that still incorporated spiritual focus, but also acknowledges fathers and offers encouragement.

"As a pastor, I've learned a lot of men are ill equipped [for] fatherhood," Taylor said. He added that as society has gotten away from traditional values, young men have become less able to deal with the responsibility.

"We want to begin this year by setting the pace for something different on Father's Day. We want to give men something to look forward to," Taylor said.

Programs for fathers

Since 1998, the Missouri Bootheel Consortium in Sikeston, which serves Scott, Mississippi, New Madrid, Dunklin and Pemiscot counties, has offered a program called Fatherhood First, which provides job and life skills training, education, empowerment, case management, goals/planning and other services.

Until a funding shortage about a year ago, Fatherhood First offered classes to guide fathers through everything from substance abuse to health literacy and communication skills. Chief executive officer Cynthia Dean, who is looking to offer the class again, said although it isn't being held, the agency still offers a referral service and an August fishing day that Bootheel families look forward to annually.

Participant Ricky T. Sykes, who has a 9-year-old son, said he heard about the Fatherhood First classes from a friend and took it twice. "I was kind of skeptical at first," he said. But he wanted to be involved in his son's life and wasn't getting along well with the boy's mother.

"I didn't know how to come at her -- she came at me the wrong way; I came at her the wrong way. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone how to talk to my baby mama, but when I got in that class, I didn't have to ask because they were already showing me different ways of how to do that," Sykes said.

"When my son first got here, I didn't really have good parenting skills," he added. The class showed him a better way of talking to the boy's mother. The course helped Sykes and the mother get along better, so he can spend more time with his son, which also helps with behavior.

"Me and my baby mama, we don't argue about anything because the class taught me a better way to just sit and talk about simple things like what the kid's doing at school," and how they can take on a problem, whatever it might be.

"When he sees me and his mom talking," Sykes said, "it makes him feel a lot better and he tries a little harder because he sees [his] parents trying to work, too, at the same time. He's taking that and showing ... other kids that sometimes two parents [are] a little bit better than one."

Dean said male involvement in family life is critical, and that's one of the reasons she's been a champion of the program for so many years. She said many programs target women and pregnancy, but they often lack male involvement, which is necessary for success.

Dean said many men in Fatherhood First have been unemployed for a long time, but the program helps point them toward jobs, helps with training, job interviews, mental health and substance abuse resources.

"We have people that still come in and we refer them and tell them where to go," Dean said.

Missouri Mentoring Partnership

Nikki Wolfe, youth specialist for Missouri Mentoring Partnership in Cape Girardeau, said the organization used to offer courses on parenting skills, but the state was looking for a way to expand the clientele, so now the focus is more on life skills.

Sessions for anyone 12 to 25 are held twice a week over eight weeks. The first lesson centers on things like cooking, finance, education and work skills. The second is for fun activities based on 40 developmental assets that help youths become more successful.

Participants can go through the program more than once if they wish. And although specific parenting classes aren't offered right now, they can be incorporated into the sessions.

rcampbell@semissourian.com

388-3639