Sideline chatter 9/9/03

Nice sea legs, Capt. Rodman

Don't know if tequila was involved, but reports suggest there was a Worm in the bottle last week.

Police suspect that former NBA bad boy Dennis Rodman was driving his boat while intoxicated in Newport Harbor, near Long Beach, Calif.

As Jim Amormino, Orange County Sheriff's spokesman, told The Associated Press: "Mr. Rodman was at the dock next to the (restaurant) attempting to untie the boat. Deputies observed Mr. Rodman fall to the ground."

Veteran Worm-watchers noted, however, that this isn't the first time Rodman ever flopped trying to draw a charge.

The word is their oyster

Broncos defensive tackle Darius Holland, to the Denver Post, on his commercial real-estate company: "People look at me like I'm an idiot because of what I do. There's that astigmatism about football players."

Don Harkins, to the Trail (B.C.) Daily Times, on why he was fired as coach of the Trail Smoke Eaters last week, just four days before the British Columbia Hockey League season opener: "Psychological differences."

Pass the microscope

Society could be the big loser if Ohio State quarterback Craig Krenzel, who carries a 4.0 grade-point average in molecular genetics, devotes his talents to the NFL instead of medical science.

Chris Dufresne of the Los Angeles Times gave this quandary a historical perspective: "Imagine the setback had Jonas Salk thrown a 95-mph fastball."

None for the show

News update: NFL ticket auditors this morning discovered 141 more opening day no-shows -- the playing rosters of the Bears, Bengals and Patriots.

Halo and goodbye

The Anaheim Angels suspended broadcaster Rex Hudler after he was arrested at the Kansas City airport and charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

The defending World Series champs, we assume, are thankful their 2003 season merely went up in smoke -- and not Angel dust.

You said it, buster

Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, on the new NFL rule allowing officials to be on the field and call penalties 45 minutes before kickoff: "Meanwhile, the Oakland Raiders announced that Bill Romanowski will no longer participate in warmups."

Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post, on fiery Phillies manager Larry Bowa: "Not that Bowa has lost control of his players or anything, but Ben Franklin has a better chance of returning to Philadelphia next year."

Best in show

When linebacker Wesly Mallard arrived in Eugene a few years back and gave the Oregon football team a Mallard Duck, we thought such a perfect name fit was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

That is, until Nick The Kick showed up in South Bend and gave Notre Dame an Irish Setta. -- Dwight Perry,

Seattle Times