Sideline chatter 8/2/03

Wallet to A-Rod: Quiet, dude

Alex Rodriguez looked over his big stack of money Wednesday and made a startling discovery: His Texas Rangers are a last-place team.

This might come as a shock to A-Rod, but the Rangers also finished last in 2000 -- his final year in Seattle -- as well as in 2001 and 2002, his first two seasons in Texas after he took the $252 million bait.

"When I signed here, I thought we'd make a hard turn toward improvement," Rodriguez said. "Obviously, we're in a very tough division. I want what's best for Mr. Hicks, if it were down to the Rangers improving or me being happy."

Rodriguez backpedaled off his statements yesterday, however. He undoubtedly realized that "what's best for Mr. Hicks" -- team owner Tom Hicks -- as well as the Rangers' best chance for near-term improvement, would be to take a voluntary pay cut back to fiscal reality.

Standing tall

The WNBA fined Seattle coach Anne Donovan for talking down to officials. What do they expect? She's 6 feet 8.

Missed tackle

Friday marked Day 7 of All-Pro Walter Jones' quasi-annual holdout from Seahawks training camp, or, as veteran Cheney observers call it, "Where's Walto?"

The fall of civilization

Two sure signs that The End is near, courtesy of Variety.com:

Web searches for tidbits on the Kobe Bryant sexual-assault case have climbed 6,000 percent on Lycos since July 19. That makes Bryant the fourth-most-searched-for news story in Lycos' history -- behind only the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the Iraq War POW videotapes and the 2000 U.S. presidential election and recount.

History's top-grossing sports movie is not "Jerry Maguire," "Rocky" or "Remember the Titans." It's "The Waterboy."

Talking the talk

Tabloids are reporting that Jaden Gil, the 21-month-old son of Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, has already begun taking tennis lessons.

"And over the weekend," said NBC's Jay Leno, "he beat Anna Kournikova."

And no scratching, either

Figure-skating choreographer Brian Wright of Seattle, who died Tuesday at 43 from complications of AIDS, made no pretense of his sport's penchant for fancy costumes, sequins and makeup.

As Wright, who helped Kristi Yamaguchi to a world championship, once told USA Today: "At nationals, no one is spitting in the dugout."

Let's play nice

The NBA's new Charlotte Bobcats announced they will Just Say No To Thugs.

"We're challenged by people not willing to tolerate bad-boy behavior and pay $60-$70 (a ticket) to watch it," Bobcats owner Bob Johnson told the Charlotte Observer. "They're not going to take that anymore."

That sound you just heard was the Bobcats' player-acquisition department ripping the Portland Trail Blazers card out of the Rolodex. -- Dwight Perry,

Seattle Times