Sideline chatter 7/31/03

Sideline Chatter

Fancy meating a bull here

Next time you order beef at the outdoor café across the street from the Delta Center in Salt Lake City, make sure you stipulate that it's cooked.

Patrons there last Wednesday were startled to see a bull -- an escapee from the Days of '47 Rodeo at the arena -- come rampaging their way. The bull leaped down a 6-foot ledge and destroyed a dining table before he was lassoed and returned to the show.

"He's bigger than I was," arena security guard Sharon Rudd told the Salt Lake Tribune. "We were trying to close the gate, but we weren't fast enough."

Added witness Patricia Stanton: "I saw the Old West. I saw a bull come running out and cowboys came from all over, jumped on their horses and away they went."

The bull's name: Fear Factor.

Pass the soap

Looks like All-American Soap Box Derby officials picked the wrong year to get up on their soap box.

Officials refused to allow author Melanie Payne to sell her new book of derby memories -- "Champions, Cheaters and Childhood Dreams" -- at last weekend's annual kid gravity races in Akron, Ohio, saying they took exception to the second word of the title.

"I know there have been instances of that in our history," derby spokesman Bob Troyer told the Beacon Journal. "What we're saying is, we don't feel that focus is in the best interest of the program."

Jinx! The derby, which began in 1933 and hadn't DQ'd a driver in 30 years, had to strip a 13-year-old racer of the rally-stock title Saturday night after his car flunked a postrace inspection.

Talking the talk

Jeff Schultz of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, on the Braves' combustible bullpen: "The trading deadline is Thursday. If (GM) John Schuerholz can't find a pitcher between now and then, I think Target has fire extinguishers on sale."

Kerry Collins, Giants quarterback, to the New York Post, on battling his id: "I just try to stay out of my own way. Sometimes going inside my head is like going behind enemy lines."

CBS's Craig Kilborn, on Tour de France champ Lance Armstrong riding unopposed for the fifth time through the streets of Paris: "The feat was especially impressive when you consider the Germans only did it twice."

Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune, on Greece saying it will license more brothels during the 2004 Summer Olympics: "Good news for NBA players who can't afford $4 million, eight-karat purple diamond rings."

It'll do in a pinch

Pete Kendall, the former Seahawk, is being switched from guard to center this season by the Arizona Cardinals.

When asked by The Associated Press what he welcomed about the move, Kendall replied: "Besides getting goosed on every play?"

Rookie mistake No. 376

Most NFL rookies need a playbook, alarm clock or map to the dining hall. Offensive lineman Steve Sciullo, a Pittsburgh native, was willing to pay dearly for a screwdriver soon after he pulled into the Indianapolis Colts' camp.

"I didn't even know it was on there," Sciullo told the Indianapolis Star. "It's my parents'. You wouldn't have a flat-head screwdriver I could borrow, would you? I've probably got to get that off there."

Sciullo was referring to the license-plate frame on the car he was driving -- the one that read: "Pittsburgh Steelers."

-- Dwight Perry,

Seattle Times