Sideline Chatter 7/12

The Olymp-hick movement is alive and well in East Dublin, Ga., home of the Redneck Games, even if Tonya Harding was a no-show for this year's hubcap-throwing competition.

"At one time, I think 'redneck' had a bad connotation," Frank Fraser, founder of Redneck World magazine and redneckworld.com, told the Macon Telegraph. "But people have come to realize rednecks are the salt of the earth. They are the ones who drive the trucks and farm. They are very patriotic."

They also show up in droves -- more than 12,000 for today's seventh annual event -- just to watch sporting spectacles like:

lighting of the barbecue-grill flame

bobbing for pigs' feet

hubcap hurling

lawnmower spinning

mud-pit belly-flopping

seed-spitting

armpit serenade (one kid's rendition of "Dixie," we are told, will bring a tear to your eye).

And even newspapers across the big ponds are taking notice.

Reported Michael Christie of the Scottish Daily Record & Sunday Mail: "It's a celebration of the sport and, er, culture of a land where the mullet is both dinner and a hairstyle."

No pennies, please

Karl Malone, who made $19.3 million playing for the Utah Jazz last season, will likely have to take a $17.8 million salary hit if he wants to play for the Lakers this season. Or does he?

Rumor has it that L.A.'s new Mailman will circumvent the NBA's salary-cap rules simply by slipping the mother of all "postage due" envelopes into Jerry Buss' mailbox.

My sister, the car

Nicole-Nadine Frentzen, the 14-year-old sister of Formula One racer Heinz-Harald Frentzen, took mom's car out for a joyride in Moenchengladbach, Germany, while her parents were busy watching big bro in the French Grand Prix, according to Reuters. Worse, she got pulled over by police.

Her parents were so mad, we hear, that she's been put on fuel restrictions for a month.

Seen, heard, said

David Whitley of the Orlando Sentinel, on why calling LeBron James a Mozart in shorts is no comparison: "Approximately 17 cameras didn't record Wolfgang arriving in an SUV."

Red Sox ace Pedro Martinez, to the Hartford Courant, after Yankees owner George Steinbrenner demanded an investigation into Martinez plunking Derek Jeter and Alfonso Soriano with pitches: "Georgie Porgie, he might buy the whole league, but he doesn't have enough money to buy fear to put in my heart."

Steve Ziants of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, after Detroit manager Alan Trammell -- he of the 24-65 record -- remarked that winning never gets old: "At the rate the Tigers are going, it may never get to puberty."

Making Swiss cheese

Wimbledon champion Roger Federer had to milk the crowd when he was greeted by 6,000 cheering fans -- and one gift cow -- upon his return to Switzerland on Tuesday.

"It is a great idea, very funny," Federer told the throng at Gstaad's Roy Emerson Arena.

Forget the U.S. Open. Federer's most immediate challenge is deciding which milking technique he will use -- singles or doubles.

Lawyers relish the thought

If Mandy the assaulted sausage ever drags Randall Simon, that swinging Pirate, and his $1.4 million salary into a Milwaukee courtroom, it'll be wiener take all.