Hypocrisy has become the real tennis fashion

Sleeves, please.

Talk about your double standards.

The U.S. Open clothing police have decided that women are appropriately clothed for tennis if they are wearing a v-neck, short-legged, one-piece, tight-fitting body suit. Men who come to play wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt are summarily told to change that shirt, pronto.

The absurdity of this became clear when tournament referee Brian Earley gave a serious interview about how he judged that a sleeveless shirt Tommy Haas tried to wear was not compatible with a rule that says clothing must be "customary."

While the ATP Tour has been trying desperately to market some excitement into its lifeless young personalities, the tournament referees at the most raucous and unconventional tournament in the world tell a man he must have sleeves.

The ATP ran its "New Balls Please" campaign that was supposed to make the new generation of Lleyton Hewitts and Marat Safins and Andy Roddicks and Tommy Haases pleasing and popular, even if only one of them has become a consistent winner.

Unfortunately the winner, Hewitt, has also become a petulant whiner as well and none of the others has separated himself from the nameless masses.

So Haas tried something new, something radical, something so out there that a gaggle of men wearing suits and ties had to put their gray heads together and confab Wednesday.

Yes or no. Thumbs up or thumbs down.

Sleeves or no sleeves.

The rebellious Haas, third-seeded at the U.S. Open and pictured from the waist up on Page 3 of the New York Post wearing nothing and standing behind his girlfriend, who was also wearing nothing but Haas' arms around her chest and a silver ornament in her belly button, had arrived for his first-round match wearing white shorts and a white, sleeveless shirt.

Earley was asked by the chair umpire to make a momentous ruling. "Every player shall dress and present himself for play in a professional manner. Clean and customarily acceptable tennis attire shall be worn as determined by each respective Grand Slam." That's straight from the 2002 Official Grand Slam Rule Book.

We know for sure Haas isn't an American because the young German did not immediately call his lawyer. He obediently changed his shirt to a nice, green thing with sleeves.

As a little background, defending Open champion Serena Williams had debuted on Monday night a one-piece "cat suit," as Williams described her clothing. The black piece of material gave the illusion of having been painted on. It emphasized Williams' muscular, athletic body. Or, as Pete Sampras said, "You see all the curves."

Williams' outfit has sparked a debate, as has the outfit of Anna Kournikova, who wears a very short skirt and an elastic, midriff-baring top. The women say they are proud to show off their well-toned bodies. The fans mostly vote thumbs-up. The clothing companies are thrilled at the hubbub. The photographers can't shoot enough film. There is the tennis purist here and there who wonder if it isn't a little inappropriate to show so much skin, but mostly the cat suit has met with "You go girl" enthusiasm.

And, as Williams said, "Nobody is going to tell me what to wear." Or not to wear.

She's lucky. She's a woman. No one dares say no.

Poor Haas. He's a man. He was told no.

The double standard could be taken negatively in two ways.

Why should Haas, who said he had asked his clothing company to design for him a sleeveless top because he finds sleeves restricting to his swing, be sent to his room to change, as if he were a naughty schoolboy wearing a torn T-shirt to first grade, when women can wear less and less, can show off many different body parts and be applauded?

Earley, in explaining how his negative ruling on Haas' shirt was a "gut reaction," also said that "over the years, women have pushed the envelope. Women's attire has gone all over the place."

This seems almost condescending. It's OK for the little women to wear the sexy clothes. Bring on the photographers and the oglers and the buzz and chatter. If the stands are filled with boys who want to see Kournikova's body, that's fine.

Earley said that Serena had sent in her outfit for pre-approval. This brings to mind an image of a bunch of men in the back room of Victoria's Secret, holding up the black cat suit and trying to picture how Serena would look and then voting a resounding "Yes!"

Haas seemed baffled by the whole situation. What happened to him, Haas said, "I don't think that's right in my eyes. That's ridiculous."

Patrick McEnroe, U.S. Davis Cup captain and tennis commentator, rolled his eyes and said, "Tennis has got to get with the program. Basketball players wear (sleeveless shirts). Why not?"

And, as Haas pointed out, "usually, when the sun shines, I don't wear a shirt at all."

Let's face it. That all-white-shorts-and-collared-shirt, tasteful-clothing train has left the station. It left when Andre Agassi showed up in denim shorts and day-glo shirts. It picked up speed when that crazy Michael Chang came to town with a collarless shirt. It was careening down the track when Mr. Bland, Pete Sampras, wore the baggy, baggy shorts and untucked shirt.

Sleeveless? Harmless.

The men's tour needs a shot in the arm. Let them show some skin if they want. What's good for the women should be good for the men.

Diane Pucin is a columnist for the Los Angeles Times