Brotherly isn't quite how we'd describe Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA -- Welcome to Philly. Or as the locals say, "Boooooooo."

In your search for the most negative sports city in America, you will inevitably wind up here.

The evidence against Philly is ample.

This is the town that routinely booed its own Mike Schmidt, merely the best third baseman who ever lived; that roundly booed hometown hero Kobe Bryant every time he touched the ball at an All-Star Game; that booed and booed and finally chased former Phillie Scott Rolen and former Flyer Eric Lindros out of town; that cheered as opposing Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin lay motionless on the Veterans Stadium turf; and that keeps listening to sports-radio station WIP, the smelliest cesspool in a field of cesspools.

We will throw out the charge of throwing snowballs at Santa Claus, because while this is technically true, it happened a long time ago, and this particular Santa was about four beers past drunk.

How did such a great city get like this? There is the theory that Philadelphia started as the nation's center of commerce and government, lost the commerce to New York (three hours to the north) and government to Washington (two hours to the south) and wants to get even in the only way it can -- on the playing fields.

Supposedly isolated

The Philly fan will argue that these incidents were isolated. They will tell you most people in Philly are great fans, passionate about sports, and besides, Irvin was their least-favorite player and Kobe forgot his roots and not everybody listens to WIP and anyway, didn't New York boo Mickey Mantle early in his career? (Indeed, New York did.)

High standards, the Philly fan will tell you. Apparently those high standards were in effect when Phillies fans booed a man who bounced a ceremonial first pitch. So what if the ceremonial pitcher was the recipient of the first hand transplant, and was throwing with that transplanted hand? High standards, remember. Perhaps they were booing the surgeon.

We just want to win, the Philly fan will tell you. And truly, this might be the most desperate sports town in America. The last Philly pro team to win a championship was the 1983 76ers. Combining the baseball Phillies, football Eagles, hockey Flyers and basketball 76ers, that makes 79 consecutive seasons without a championship.

No other four-sport town is mired in such a drought. Detroit has won six championships in three sports since 1983.

Grabbing on

The thirst for a title makes Philly fans latch onto players who don't deserve to be latched onto. It's something of a national secret, but Philly fans over-praise their athletes as easily as they over-criticize.

We set 'em up to knock 'em down in this country, so maybe Philly is just the guiltiest American city, or the most open about it. Rolen and Lindros were once saviors, too.

For the next two days, the Pistons will play playoff games in one of the best cities in America. If they win both games, they will eliminate the 76ers, making it 80 straight seasons without a Philly championship. If you don't think that's a reason to boo, the Philly fan says, then boo to you, too.