Right about now, the head honchos at the CBS and USA networks are joined hand-in-hand in a New York City office in simultaneous prayer to the golf gods.
"Oh powerful ones, we give you our thanks for Myrtle Beach. We thank you for making Martha Burk vanish after the Masters. We thank you for the marketing gift that is Tiger Woods. Now, we humbly ask for your blessings onto Annika Sorenstam this week. We ask that you watch over her, grant her your wisdom and your power, and most of all, grant her the ability to -- dare we say it -- make the cut."
About the only thing the guys in the expensive suits weren't openly asking for this week is for Sorenstam to be in the hunt for a title Sunday in the Colonial, then take Vijay Singh down to the wire and win by a stroke in a dramatic playoff. It could've been golf's biggest photo opportunity -- short ofAnnika beating Tiger --until Singh pulled out of the tournament this week. It's a sign the golf gods don't always listen.
Besides, asking for that kind of a scenario would be too greedy anyway. Way too greedy, way too self-serving.
But since when has that mattered?
Making her big debut
In a little more than 24 hours, Sorenstam will become the first woman to compete in a PGA Tour event in 58 years. It's a marketing gold mine any sport would cherish, so to nobody's surprise, the tours, the networks and Colonial Country Club in Fort Worth, Texas, all are making the most of it. Souvenirs are on sale bearing numbers, names and all things Annika. Reporters -- nearly 600 of them -- are cramming the course this week for interviews. EBay is hopping with Annika collectors cards and autographed stuff.
If the WWE doesn't try to sign up Sorenstam to meet Vijay in a cage match, then it's missing out on its stake in the American dream. After all, capitalizing on this week's Annika adventure would be, for lack of a better phrase, par for the course. Ultimately, that's what this week is all about.
Before the Sorenstam announcement that she would compete against the Colonial field this week -- at the request of tournament officials, of course -- the PGA's buzz was on hiatus. The newness of Tiger Woods was fading. The weekly televised drama, once a soap opera of Tiger vs. The World, was reduced to less TV-friendly hits and misses.
A television moment
Sorenstam is a welcomed made-for-TV break from the norm, and the sport itself went looking for it. The comments Singh made last week -- he said she didn't belong on the same field as men -- couldn't have been scripted better. Just like that, the conflict fell into place. Sorenstam became a lovable underdog, and America just can't get enough of those.
The PGA likes to say this is an opportunity for a woman to match her skills against those of men. PGA Tour members, or least the politically correct ones, like to say they welcome the chance for a female to compete.
That all sounds good in sound bytes, but it's worth noting that PGA players haven't stood up en masse this week to say that LPGA players should be paid the same as men. Or that LPGA events should merit the same network packages as PGA events. Or that more LPGA players should be signing endorsements for Buick.
They're not because America isn't. For as much as we love the underdog, one weekend of Annika vs. The Boys Club is all we want. America is giving Sorenstam her one chance to compete, but now it's up to her to make something of it.
If she doesn't make the cut and proves so many male egos right, she'll be unceremoniously banished back to the LPGA.
If she does make the cut, we'll pat her on the back, smile and say "thatta girl, Annika" -- then banish her back to the LPGA for next week's Kellogg-Keebler Classic.
America, despite warm and fuzzy TV clips and press releases, isn't ready to watch women in men's sports.
Raise your hand if you've watched an entire WNBA game.
Raise your hand if you can name the last female driver in a NASCAR event.
Raise your hand if you've really watched one of Sorenstam's 43 LPGA tournament wins.
Exactly.
Jamie Hall is the sports editor of the Southeast Missourian.
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