America's professional tailgater calls every stadium home

The commissioner of tailgating will ease his RV into the parking lot at 3Com Park in San Francisco today, in the homestretch of one of the great road trips in sports history.

There, Joe Cahn and his navigator, Sophie the cat, will socialize with the regulars, dine on hot dogs and hamburgers -- perhaps something more unusual, such as surf and turf -- and then move on, heading across the Bay for the Monday night game at Oakland.

Cahn arrives at games eight hours early. "I've got things to do, you know," the commissioner said. "Search out the right parking spot, build a fire, eat food ..."

It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Seven years ago, inspired by the Super Bowl in his hometown of New Orleans, Cahn sold his cooking school business and his house, bought a motor home, and began trolling America's parking lots, looking for the best tailgate parties.

His goal was to cover 29 NFL stadiums in 17 weeks, a daunting task. The commissioner, equipped with ample supplies of traditional New Orleans fare such as jambalaya and pralines, succeeded.

After his first season, Cahn declared himself the King of Tailgating. Then he thought it over and decided it would be better to be commissioner.

"Being the king is dangerous," he said. "Kings get overthrown. I will be commissioner. Commissioners are for life."

And, in fact, Cahn's followers agreed.

"I was overwhelmingly returned to office on Election Day!" he exclaimed. "The Diet Party with Richard Simmons is out."

Early on, the commissioner contributed good food to the party. Now his specialty is good cheer.

"I pull into the parking lot, open a table and put out some snacks," he said. "You know, some crackers, some dip, some cashews. I never put out mixed nuts because people always dig into the bowl looking for cashews and leave fingerprints on the rest of the nuts."

Then he starts his tour of the parking lot.

The commissioner has come across some interesting spreads. There are plenty of hot dogs and hamburgers, of course, some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, even steaks and chicken for the more ambitious chefs.

He also has seen all sorts of exotic fare and settings.

At USC, one ambitious party featured foie gras, caviar and wine, all accompanied, of course, by a string quartet. "Hey," the commissioner said, "it was California."

But the food is not the point. The people are the point.

"A lowly hot dog doesn't have a lot of taste," Cahn said. "But eaten with friends while laughing and talking, it can be an incredible meal.

"It's not the food on the table. It's the people at the table. The eating is secondary."

Cahn calls tailgating America's last great neighborhood.

"It's the only place in America where the whole community gets together," he said. "Throwing a football around in the parking lot is like playing ball in the street when you were growing up. Tailgating is a comfort zone. It is the reception before the banquet."

Cahn refuses to pick favorite sites.

"The best one is wherever I am," he said. "Some are big. Some are small. All of them are wonderful."

And from this he makes a living?

"My wealth lies in my friends," he said. "The greatest compliment is to be invited over to somebody's house. I get invited to thousands of back yards with people sharing food. I meet friends I didn't know I had. I may be broke but I'm not going hungry. I'm eating everybody's food."

His next stop is the Army-Navy game at the Meadowlands on Dec. 7, and then it will be on to Florida for stops in Jacksonville and Miami. After that are Cincinnati and Tennessee, Arizona and San Diego, and his grand finale at the Super Bowl.

How does he like all these games?

The commissioner chuckled.

"I don't go to the games," he said. "I go to the tailgates."