MAKING RESOLUTIONS (AND STICKING TO THEM)

Resolutions are as much as part of January as icy roads and school cancellations. February brings a few warm days and a melting in determination to bring about change. A few weeks later, wintry days, and sometimes resolutions, are relegated to memory.

However, there is no need to despair if resolutions wane in weeks to come, explained licensed psychologist Dr. James W. Morgan of Cape Girardeau. Lapses, or plateaus, are to be expected.

"Even if we don't always follow through, it's a good idea to make resolutions," he said, adding that most desired behavioral changes require several attempts.

For example, Morgan said, research indicates that people who try to stop smoking usually have to make three or four attempts. Even if an attempt is not immediately successful, "they'll be learning the necessary behaviors that it takes to be able to overcome the habits, or establish the more desired behaviors," he said.

Pearla Murphy of Jackson learned from her previous attempts and experienced success in 1995.

"It's a resolution that I have every year, to lose weight and to get healthier," Murphy said. "This past year, I decided I wasn't going to work on the weight aspect, I decided I was going to get healthier."

She launched her annual New Year's resolution in earnest last June and lost 55 pounds.

A clinical therapist and coordinator of education and training at the Community Counseling Center in Cape Girardeau, Claire Lafoon, prefers the word goal over resolution.

A goal defines the ultimate change that is desired and includes the steps needed for success, she said, adding: "Certainly, people need to have goals and need to make changes, and those needs may arise at any time of the year."

Lafoon speculated that weight loss and health concerns likely rank near the top of many New Year's resolution lists.

Regardless of the desired lifestyle change, "the fear of failing blocks a lot of us from making attempts," Morgan said.

Yet, change is inevitable. "All we have to do is look in the mirror and recognize that change takes place whether we want it to or not," Morgan noted. "We have the capacity and the potential to make some of the decisions about which directions the changes go."

Plus, the need to adapt and change knows no boundaries.

Bill Stallins of Cape Girardeau recognized his need to make some changes for the sake of his health about five years after his retirement. In his mid-60s, Stallins knew his overall body strength was lessening. Though Stallins and his wife, Polly, had been health conscious for a good 25 years, "I just wasn't as active as I should have been," he said.

Stallins began working with weights through a senior learning program administered at Southeast Missouri State University's Recreation Center. That was over a year ago. He's pleased with the results.

"I've pretty much tripled or quadrupled my weights on everything I've used for the last year and a half," Stallins said. "I use the machines upstairs and use the free weights in the lower level."

"Everything about it has been positive," Stallins said of his decision to begin strength-building five years after retirement. "I haven't had a negative thought about it." He has combined the strength-building plan with his regular walking regime.

Watch out for the excuse of lack of time, particularly if exercise is part of the desired change, warned Red Williams, retired athletic trainer at Southeast Missouri State University. Williams is a volunteer trainer and fitness coordinator for university students and members of the university's recreation center.

"It takes three weeks to establish the habit, the habit that will do you some good, the habit to take care of yourself," he explained.

Just a few minutes, some three times a week, is a solid start. "Take it as personal time," Williams said, recommending people designate exercise time as they would an appointment. Finding a friend to exercise with is also a big plus.

"How often are we doing something for somebody else, and we never do anything for ourselves?" he asked.

Lafoon recommends people seeking to make changes in their lives make a list of the reasons for wanting the change. "People should think ahead about not only what they want to do but why they want to do it," she said.

On that point, Murphy was clear. She realized her weight was seriously affecting her health. "It took sitting back and thinking about my 6-year-old and my 12-year-old, and how I wanted to be around and see them grow up," she said.

"Everyone has their own little key phrase, or key point that will inspire them to go on and do what it is they need to do," Murphy said.

Her realization she must change "started with that little voice that said, 'Your mommy's fat,' and that kept ringing in my ears."

A large part of Murphy's success is linked to husband David's participation in the lifestyle changes. He, too, has lost some 55 pounds through the Nutri-System plan.

"My diet is low to zero fat, eating the right food groups and working out," Pearla Murphy said. Though she's seen success, her goals are yet to be reached. She plans to continue her healthy lifestyle into the new year and beyond.

"I'm going to have to work out and follow those nasty little healthy lifestyle changes throughout my life," she said. "Whether people like to make resolutions at New Year's or not, it's a positive step if they do."

While change is something some may aim for, an altering of attitude about oneself at the onset could often be beneficial, Morgan noted. Self-acceptance does not mean a rejection of change. After all, he said, "the better you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to pursue the changes you want to make."