STRICTLY BUSINESS: THAT'S ONE SMART BUCK

A number of years ago -- at least 25 to 30 -- a popular men's magazine featured an "Honest Abe Club," for "honest-to-gosh, true-to-life" anecdotes.

What made the stories and anecdotes different, so we are told, is that it all really happened. So, we have no doubt that the following deer story did happen.

The story, which dates back to the 1960s, concerns a big buck deer and was related by an out-of-state deer hunter in Missouri.

This was a time when only limited deer hunting was permitted in certain areas of the state.

The story:

While in a Southeast Missouri area -- we won't reveal where -- we decided to go deer hunting.

It wasn't too long before I spied a big buck. Being a little out of range, I started trailing him. The trail took me to a road alongside of which was parked an old car.

And there, to my surprise, was my prize, draped over the fender.

In my bitter disappointment that someone had beat me to the buck, I decided to head for a local watering hole in a nearby town, for some medicine to drown my sorrows and to find someone to tell my tale of woe too.

After I bent an elbow a few times, I explained to anyone who would listen what had happened.

The buck's trick

The bartender leaned back and roared with laughter.

"Nobody beat you to the buck, he explained, "and the buck is not dead."

I listened further.

"That buck pulls that trick on every outsider who gives chase," explained the bartender.

"The old car has been there for years, and the buck fools everyone who doesn't know him," added the bartender. "Those who do know him appreciate his great cunning and let him live.

"Besides, he brings good business to the local bar here."

This story is really true. We've heard it more than once from hunters in the area.

And "Swampeast Missouri" sportsmen wouldn't lie about something like that.

Deer hunting has suddenly become one of Missouri's biggest annual sporting events, a far cry from mid-1940s when 7,500 hunters had a two-day season in 20 counties.

In 1997, about 550,000 hunters went deer hunting in Missouri in hunts of various forms -- modern firearms, muzzle-loading firearms, bow and arrow -- bagging nearly 200,000 deer.

It could be bigger when all the totals are in this year.

The state's modern firearms hunt started Nov. 14 and ran through Nov. 24, with expectations of record hunter and deer kill.

During the first week, the Missouri deer kill totaled more than 110,000.

In Illinois, modern firearms hunts are stretched over two weekends. The first was Nov. 20 through 22. The second session will be held Dec. 3 through 6. Illinois biologists are predicting a season similar to last year, when 93,621 deer were bagged during the two shotgun hunts. Counting the total bag last year, including archers and muzzleloaders, deer kill was 133,274.

Where are the geese?

It seems the United States -- including the Mississippi Flyway -- is being invaded by snow geese, those small birds that hunters pass up more often than not.

But the giant Canada Geese were at a premium when the season opened in the four-county -- Alexander, Union, Jackson and Williamson -- quota zone last week.

The latest Southern Illinois goose census prior to the Thanksgiving Day opening revealed less than 15,000 Canada Geese in the entire area, which includes three major wildlife refuges in Southern Illinois and Ballard County Refuge in western Kentucky.

A drive through the Union County Wildlife Refuge, near Ware, last weekend, revealed only a handful of Canadas around the refuge headquarters.

One small flock near a small water impoundment had its guards out, and as we drove by, the guards, with heads stretch high, were at work.

The few hundred geese around the headquarters area were reflective of the total geese in Union County. The count revealed only 1,700 geese throughout the county.

4,100 at Horseshoe

The Horseshoe Lake Wildlife Refuge, in Alexander County, often acclaimed as the "Goose Hunting Capital of the World," didn't have a lot more -- about 4,100.

More than a third of the geese in the quota zone were at the Crab Orchard Wildlife Refuge, which covers parts of two counties (Williamson and Jackson). A total of 5,800 Canadas were counted there.

In Ballard County, Ky., less than 1,000 birds were counted.

Goose hunters may be on a wild goose chase throughout much of the season.

Canada Goose numbers are expected to be down everywhere this winter. Flights could be down as much as 40 percent, say officials of the Illinois Department of Natural Resources.

Although northern Illinois goose hunters had a good year during the 1997-1998 season, Southern Illinois hunters suffered miserably, bagging 22,010 geese, about 80 percent of their quota.

"It wasn't much of a goose season here last year," said one Alexander hunting club operator. "The geese weren't here."

Statistics verify the low 1997 numbers.

The peak count for Southern Illinois came in January, said Kathy Thornburg, office assistant at Union County Wildlife Refuge near Ware.

Some 'peak' counts

The peak count was 176,550, a sizable number of geese until it is compared with peak counts of previous years: 431,900 in 1996 and 603,600 in 1994.

The Southern Illinois area has always been a mecca for Canada geese and hunters. During the mid-1980s to the late 1980s, a peak count of 850,000 to 1 million geese was not uncommon.

If the 1998-1999 count is down 40 percent from a year ago, that means about 100,000 geese could be the peak count this winter.

The 20-year average of the Southern Illinois goose season is 56,000 hunters and 27,000 geese harvested.

It could fall far short of that this year.

The season has been shortened -- Nov. 26 until Jan. 31 -- unless the quota is reached earlier. The harvest quota has been set at 13,100, less than half of the 26,400 quota of last year.

The daily bag limit will be one Canada goose, half of the daily limit a year ago, through Jan. 17. The bag limit will be two a day the final 14 days of the season.

Goose hunting has always been big business in Southern Illinois.

A day in the pit can cost from $50 to $100 and up, plus guide costs. Hunters, however, spend more than that. According to various surveys, the average goose hunter spends $150 to $160 a day while in Southern Illinois.

A Santa shortage?

Ho-ho-no! Britain faces Santa shortage.

It seems the Santa Claus business in Britain has fallen on lean times.

One of the country's largest suppliers of Santa Clauses reports a serious shortage of actors aspiring to play the jolly elf this year -- a problem partly blamed on healthier eating trends.

The Ministry of Fun, a London-based entertainment agency, demands that its Santas be convincing -- which means an authentic fat belly is required.

Fewer Santas are measuring up this year.

"They're eating salads and everything like this," Pearson says. "This is not what we want. We need to fatten them up."

Pearson faces finding Santas for about 470 engagements. So far, he's got only about 30 working, fewer than in previous years.

Pearson says he'll take amateurs who look the part, but applicants must audition, and most don't make the cut.

For the ones who do, the pay isn't bad - about $165 for a few hours of spreading good cheer.

B. Ray Owen is business editor for the Southeast Missourian.