SEMO's Dining Etiquette Dinner helps students prepare for job hunt

Back in 1975, "Dress for Success" became a bestselling book, offering its readers tips about clothing to achieve maximum success in both a person's business and personal life.

To hear Dan Presson tell it, maybe someone should write a book about eating for success, too.

Presson, director of Career Services for Southeast Missouri State University since 2017, said the school's popular Dining Etiquette Dinner was not held in the 2020-2021 academic year mainly because of COVID-19, but he vows the event will be back.

"Yes, absolutely, it will," said Presson, who is also a Cape Girardeau city councilman, representing the 1st Ward.

"You never know what's going to be placed in front of you as part of a hiring situation," he said, adding many companies Southeast works with invite prospective job candidates to lunches, dinners and wine receptions.

Six years ago, the university promoted the student dinner by playing off an acronym used popularly in cellphone texting by dubbing the event, "What the Fork?"

Presson said normally more than 130 students attend the dinners, optimally held in November before undergraduates go home for Thanksgiving break.

"We were really itching to get one in before the school year ended because, to be perfectly honest, it's a blast — students learn what's appropriate and eat great food, too," he said.

Career Services planned to stage the event earlier this month after having to scuttle the usual fall date because of the pandemic, but Presson said the timing was wrong for students.

"We're working with so many seniors right now who are looking for internships," Presson said, "and their attention is not on an etiquette dinner but on resume and cover letter writing — on getting a job."

Thinning the job herd

Cathi Fallon, founder and director of the Etiquette Institute of Ohio, says there are "do's and don'ts" of dining etiquette, whether the meal is casual or in a formal setting.

"Every business meal is an interview, so table manners are essential to professional success," Fallon told an audience at Ohio Dominican University in 2015, adding, "employers are vetting (job) candidates on how well they display proper interaction and etiquette," which she said could be the "deciding factor" in getting a job offer.

"You want people to focus on what you bring to the table, not what you are doing at the table," she said.

Tips for dining success

Lydia Dewees Sumner, director of human resources for MRV Bank in Cape Girardeau, St. Genevieve and Festus, Missouri, led the etiquette dinner at Southeast from 2003 to 2007 while employed by Chartwells.

Sumner has also taught small children about table graces, mentioning a class she once taught for first- and second-graders from Cape Girardeau County's Prodigy Leadership Academy.

She kept the kids' tutorial simple.

"If you take your fingers and make a 'B' with your left hand, that's for bread, and if you take the fingers of your right hand and make a 'D,' that's for drink," Sumner said, pointing out the bread plate is situated on the left in a place setting and a beverage is placed to the right.

"There are some really good tricks of the trade," Sumner said, suggesting if prospective employees can keep the basics in mind they might avoid embarrassment with a potential employer.

"I've seen it where someone sat down and reached for the wrong water only to have a lunch companion say, 'Oh, that's mine,'" she recalled.

Sumner said a good rule of thumb at the table is to use the silverware from the outside in and move toward the plate as the meal progresses.

"Typically, the first or outside fork on your left is the salad fork, a spoon and fork at the top of the plate are for dessert and your water is going to be right above the knife on the right," Sumner said.

Dining faux pas

"Being rude to the dining staff or complaining about the food" are no-nos, said Sumner, who added negative comments about the cuisine could indicate a lack of appreciation or a demanding nature.

"Obviously, if you have a cellphone on the table or, even worse, if you're using the device, that's not good," she said, noting taking a call during a job interview meal leaves the impression the candidate is not truly serious about the employment opportunity.

"If you have a sick relative and you must be in constant contact by phone with the hospital or a caregiver, then you should probably ask to reschedule the meal," Sumner said.

"Cellphones have definitely become a distraction," she said, adding, "you'll hear something in a conversation and immediately want to Google it, not thinking through how that looks to the other person in a business setting."

Rediger's recollection

Harry Rediger is a former mayor of Cape Girardeau and managed the J.C. Penney store in Cape Girardeau for 28 years.

Rediger has a vivid recollection of stories told by colleagues about the fixation company founder James Cash Penney had about a certain point of dining etiquette.

"All of us knew Mr. Penney would want to take prospective company executives out to eat before they were formally hired," said Rediger, who was mayor from 2010 to 2018.

"If Penney noticed the candidate salting food before tasting it, he'd tell the HR staff not to hire the person," he recollected, suggesting salting before tasting indicated impulsiveness and bad judgment.

Final thoughts

Presson said he hopes to hold the next Dining Etiquette Dinner at Wehking Alumni Center this fall on either Nov. 4 or 11, noting student attendance might end up proving to be of immense assistance in a job search.

"Even if it's just a little bit of polishing received from the dinner, it helps make that (job) candidate just a little bit stronger," he said.