It's OK to gush with gratitude; so let the love flow

It started about a year into the pandemic and before vaccines were widely available. I was looking for my next book to read and my friend Christi told me I "had to read" Tara Schuster's "Buy Yourself the F-cking Lilies," so I did. It was exactly what I needed and right on time in so many ways. One chapter was about writing thank-you notes, and after a year of isolation, that sounded like a wonderful idea.

Gratitude has always been more of an internal process for me, like keeping a gratitude journal. The thought of writing it down in a note and mailing it was a little intimidating. Is it too much? Am I being extra? I was afraid to gush or appear too sappy. But the pandemic had cut me off from the world. I craved optimism, connection and a little joy.

I wrote my first thank-you note to Christi for recommending the book. I figured she was a safe bet. Then, I created a habit. The pandemic helped me put aside my fear of sentimentality and reaffirmed the importance of telling my people that I love and appreciate them. To tell them often and unabashedly. Binge-listening to Simon Sinek's podcast "A Bit of Optimism" also helped in this regard. I doused myself in all things gratitude and love.

I bought blank notecards and cute stickers for sealing them. My first few thank-you cards after Christi's were harder to write than I anticipated. They felt forced. I typed a script first and then copied it onto a notecard and sent it out the door. Professional and to the point. Nothing too over-the-top. My gratitude was genuine, but I hadn't fully let down my guard to let the love flow.

The more thank-you cards I wrote the easier it became, and I noticed a shift. Something was happening internally. I stopped using a script and I started just writing in real-time. It shifted from a practice to sending something truly heartfelt. I could feel the gratitude radiating from me as I wrote. A big smile would form on my face, and sometimes I would well up with tears. My gratitude was deep and real, and though I had felt gratitude before, writing it out by hand for my intended recipient helped me feel it in full.

Gratitude is sometimes mistaken for complacency or something that takes place in a state of ignorant bliss. But what my thank-you notes have taught me is that it is quite the opposite. Gratitude is observant. Gratitude requires an acknowledgment of the effort, courtesy or kindness offered with me in mind. It helps me take notice of the work being done and the spaces that lack where perhaps I can fill a need.

Once I put in the effort to recognize where kindness exists, I can help it expand. First, by saying "thank you," and second, by adding to the good work. Paying it forward. Well-wishes and gratitude tend to be better-tolerated during the holiday season, so I hope you'll take the opportunity to express them, and by all means -- gush.