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Ultraprocessed food manufacturers should not be permitted to market to children (5/6/24)My son brought home a bookmark from school promoting the school’s spring book fair — and it doubled as a coupon to a fast-food restaurant. This isn’t the first "free kid’s meal" coupon my son has gotten. It’s a pretty common thing, and after the book I just read, it annoys me. ...
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Ultraprocessed foods are everywhere (4/29/24)In my quest to eat healthier as an adult, I’ve encountered a lot of meat and dairy alternatives along with low-fat and sugar-free treat options that claim to be better choices. Many of these products are also marketed as organic. Like the almond milk I buy. I choose not to eat mass-produced animal products because of the unethical and inhumane conditions found in corporate farming. What I failed to realize was that the corporate atmosphere of processed food marketed as healthy is equally horrific. ...
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Happiness is a home to tinker with (4/22/24)My husband and I have never bought a home we didn’t tinker with. And by "tinker", I don’t mean a coat of fresh paint and new shelving. I mean the knock out a wall, rip up the flooring and till the backyard for a new garden kind of tinkering. Real do-it-yourselfers. This is why when the kitchen cabinet recently fell off the wall — literally while putting away dishes — we didn’t stress too much. We were planning to remodel the kitchen anyway. I simply set up wire shelving for the dishes that hadn’t broken, and then we strolled through Lowe’s hand in hand. ...
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We all deserve space to pursue our dreams (4/15/24)The Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop saved me from making a huge mistake recently. I emailed my editor before I left and told her that I didn’t think I’d have time to continue writing this weekly column. I told her I was too busy. I have a full-time job for our local newspaper, where I write and edit columns for the Kentucky community. ...
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We must show up and do better for our communities (3/25/24)A big part of my job is community engagement. The opinion section of any newspaper cannot happen without the people of the community. In order to lift up the voices of our neighbors, I must reach out and be willing to talk to people, not just sit at the computer and wait for my inbox to fill up. ...
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Chores and tribulations: I crave a better way for household productivity (3/4/24)I love contributing to the family. But I hate chores. As a child, chores were tasks to be checked off a list so I could get on to other things. A checklist made clear that I’d either succeed or fail based on chores completed. I often felt overlooked, reduced to tasks. Patted on the head for duties that meant nothing to me so I could disappear into a hobby that meant everything to me. ...
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The homeless crisis should not be treated as out of sight, out of mind (2/26/24)At a lunch meeting recently, I heard someone say they liked living downtown but moved to the suburbs because “the homelessness is just too much.” This same person went on to say that unhoused people should be relocated out of downtown. To where? He didn’t say. ...
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Teen dating isn't really the best practice for adult relationships (2/10/24)Valentine's Day is upon us, and my son is gearing up for a "friendship party" with his second grade class. I love this view of the day. The focus on friendship has a longer view on love than the pressure of passion with hearts and flowers. Our son is only 8 years old. ...
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Do MRIs freak you out? They used to scare me too, but then I learned this (2/5/24)I didn't know I was claustrophobic until I had to get an MRI of my knee when I was 32. The technician pushed the button that eased me into the tube, and all seemed to be going well, until a few minutes into it I felt my heart rate increase and proceeded to have a full-blown panic attack...
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If you have a lot to teach, you probably have a lot to learn (1/29/24)An intern is working with me for the spring semester. This is new for my department as the opinion editor. We get newsroom and photography interns every year. But opinion journalism is a different beast, and journalism is a fast-moving, ever-changing industry thanks to the internet. ...
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There's next-level humanity in remote work and I am here for it (1/24/24)The polar vortex struck this week and blew my whole week sideways. School was canceled for my son but included homework packets to complete during the days off. I'm grateful that my job is one I can do from home. In fact, I work from home most days. But my new intern started this week, and I had been looking forward to getting him started in a way that did not include the chaos of my 8-year-old also needing help with remote learning...
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Parents should foster decision-making in teens to help them practice 'adulting' (1/15/24)Rebellion is an adolescent's inarticulate way of saying, "I want control." Parents can support that quest for control within clear boundaries of what is safe and what is legal. Rebellion is a good thing, and it's also a key part of developing the critical thinking skills a person needs to successfully "adult". The key is a secure environment where mistakes can be made with the support of an adult who loves them...
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Be brave and dream big this year (1/6/24)Cleaning out a storage bin I found one of my journals from high school. The entry on Sunday, Nov. 3, 1991, grabbed my attention. It was about big dreams I had for myself. I wrote, “How do I know I have what it takes? … the talent … the potential … the drive?” I have so many things I want to tell 16-year-old me. Mainly, that she had all of those attributes and more to do whatever she put her mind to. Everyone else in the world will tell you no. Don’t do it for them by letting fear stop you. Your job is to decide who you want to be and what you want that to contribute to this world. Then, go for it with everything in you. I somehow thought that because I wasn’t a good student that I wasn’t cut out for high achievements. But the world is far bigger than any high school experience. No one cares now that I failed algebra in high school. No one. A lot of my childhood was submerged in the arts, and I’m incredibly grateful. I took music and dance lessons. I performed in plays and commercials, and I journaled constantly. My stepmom fostered my love of the arts while other adults in my life questioned its long-term purpose, stressing that I also had to have some other plan to back it up with. What was my realistic view of a career? They’d ask. What could all of these hobbies possibly add up to in “the real world?” I didn’t have a backup plan, and I didn’t want one either. The world needed thriving arts programs in every community. I wanted to make music and I wanted to write. Originally, I saw my future with a career in music, playing percussion in an orchestra pit somewhere. Writing was cathartic and I thought I might publish a book someday, but I didn’t envision it as my profession. Life showed me other plans. A career in symphonic music took professional training, which took money that I didn’t have. Writing simply took the desire to read, learn and practice. It took the willingness to reach out and find those editors who would give me a chance. It took humility to find mentors and learn from my mistakes. But most of all it started with being brave enough to dream. Writing is my profession now. Music took a back seat as my hobby and sometimes a side gig. I don’t have any hit songs or huge performances, and I am not disappointed. I’m still very much living a life that began with a dream: aspirations of a young girl that started long before anything resembled grown-up reality. So, what are your dreams for the new year? Write them down. Be brave. Write them without judgment or fear of sounding foolish. Dream big with your whole heart. I’m still dreaming and making plans and I have no intention of stopping any time soon.
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Choose to be an everyday hero in 2024 (1/2/24)Americans like a good heroic story, but not every individual is up to saving the world, not in the defining moment sort of way that plays out in our favorite books and on the movie screen. Simon Sinek likes to say that we've over-indexed on rugged individualism, and he's right. However, writing professors are also correct when they say each person is the hero of their own story. So, how do we reconcile the two?...
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How my career helped me foster relationships (12/26/23)When I landed my dream job I went back to therapy. Logically, I know that any workplace revolves around relationships just like everything else. But since I worked for so many years as a freelancer, my work life was transactional at best. Relationship development with consistent co-workers wasn't a daily part of my job. ...
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The year Christmas morning got quiet (12/18/23)We lay there staring at the ceiling. Something was off. It was quiet. No squeals. No patter of excited feet running down the hall to our bedroom. Just dark and quiet. Every year on Christmas morning, my husband and I were forbidden to get out of bed — an unspoken law of sorts. The way it was supposed to go was the children were to burst in and jump on the bed and wake us...
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The hidden potential of a diamond in the rough (11/15/23)I shared a work achievement with my husband recently and he responded, "You've always been a diamond in the rough." He knows that I am not the product of any sort of traditional trajectory. Instead, I'm the product of informal apprenticeships thanks to people who saw something in me and gave me a chance. My dad would tell you that I always had to learn the hard way. But I think that's true of everyone. Don't we all learn from our experiences? Our mistakes?...
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The one where Matthew Perry determines his legacy (11/4/23)Since Matthew Perry died last week, I've seen countless clips in my social media feed of his work as Chandler Bing on "Friends." But snippets of a recent interview have also been circulating. In November 2022, Perry was a guest on "Q with Tom Power." He was promoting his memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing." Perry told the show host, "When I die, I know people will talk about 'Friends,' 'Friends,' 'Friends.' And I'm glad of that, happy I've done some solid work as an actor, as well as given people multiple chances to make fun of my struggles on the World Wide Web ... ...
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New book helps Americans make plan about readdressing segregation (10/30/23)Jim Crow laws are often thought of (especially by white people) as a thing of the past. Something that the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s worked to undo. We think of lunch counter sit-ins, Martin Luther King Jr. and the March on Washington. We do not look in the faces of the people of our community who endured the fight in their daily lives. ...
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Why kids need help talking about their emotions (10/23/23)My son asked me on our way to school which emotions were the bad ones. I told him that emotions aren't good or bad, they're just information that helps us figure stuff out. It's our job as parents to help kids decipher how they are feeling and what their emotions are trying to tell us. ...
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In a world full of distractions, we have to know our purpose (10/16/23)If we don't understand our purpose — why we do the things we do — we allow ourselves to get unnecessarily distracted. Work has been more stressful than usual lately. Things are shifting and changing at stations much higher than my paygrade, with influences trickling down to my daily work. ...
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W.K. Kellogg was more than a cereal king (10/2/23)Starting Oct. 2, Kellogg Company announced it will be dividing into two independently traded companies. Kellanova will handle all the snacks and WK Kellogg Co. will handle cereal brands. When people think of Kellogg's, they tend to think cornflakes, Pop Tarts and Raisin Bran. But I think of the Canada goose...
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Seeing a Duran Duran concert with my sister (9/27/23)I've seen Duran Duran in concert once before, in August of 1993. I was 18 years old and bought myself a front-row center ticket for their show at Riverbend Music Center in Cincinnati. It was a birthday present to myself, and I went alone. Everyone has a band that feels more like the soundtrack to their formative years. Duran Duran was that band for me. Bass guitar player John Taylor was my favorite of the fab five, and Duran Duran posters were my bedroom wallpaper...
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Help kids navigate the online gaming world (9/16/23)When I was a kid, video games had two options: play with a friend on a console or try to beat the computer. The rise of the internet and smartphones has added a third option: play online with friends and strangers. It's great that gaming has become super accessible. Games are on our phones and on our computers as well as our TV consoles...
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Giving the whispered conversations of women a full voice (9/11/23)An essay collection I've contributed to was released this month and I'm a bit nervous. It's not my first contribution to a book. It's not even my first essay in this flash nonfiction book series, but I'm anxious just the same. Let me explain. The book is called "Fast Fallen Women", and it's edited by feminist scholar and humorist Gina Barreca, Ph.D. ...
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Focus on McConnell's policies, not his podium freezes (9/5/23)Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell froze when speaking to the press again. That's twice now in roughly a month. Once again, his frightening medical episode is being used for social media fodder. I wrote about this after the first episode because I started seeing distasteful "Glitch McConnell" memes in my feed. ...
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A good marriage is never a burden (8/22/23)I have never understood people who openly complain about their relationships and their spouses. If you constantly complain about the person you have chosen to spend your life with, what does that say about you? And let's be clear, I'm not talking about hard times because life will surely deliver hard times. And I'm not talking about confiding in a friend when you're struggling. Yes, please do that...
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Why I'm teaching my son to meditate (8/16/23)It was my fifth-grade teacher, Sister Patricia, who first introduced me to meditation. She guided the whole class in a session where our focus was on God. A few years later my high school creative writing teacher would also use meditation in the classroom -- this time, to unlock our creativity. ...
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We must do better on social media to eliminate the culture of meanness (8/7/23)It's been a summer of social media meanness of a certain kind: poking fun at two of our most senior members of government. President Joe Biden stumbled while handing out diplomas during the U.S. Air Force Academy Commencement Ceremony on June 3. It wasn't his first time stumbling...
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Grass isn't 'green', so why is there a war on gardens? (7/31/23)Last month, I noticed that my neighbor put up a sign in their yard. It's a list of seven guidelines. At the top, it reads: " ... Code of Ordinances allows for managed natural landscapes that include native plantings, meadow vegetation, prairie or rain gardens if the following guidelines are met."...
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Take a minute to remember how far you've come (7/24/23)Sometimes we're so focused on where we're headed, we forget how far we've come. Last week was such a week. I was waiting to hear back on an opportunity I've applied for and planning projects and growth with my boss. My eyes are on the future. Social media can be a toxic rabbit hole, but one thing Facebook is good for is memories. ...
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Schedules are getting busy again. Let's remember the quiet lessons of the pandemic (7/17/23)"Mom, can you pick me up early from camp today?" That's the question I got this morning before I dropped off my son. He loves summer day camp with the YMCA, but even though I'm writing this on Wednesday morning, he's tired. Honestly, so am I. On top of summer day camp, my son wanted to play baseball. ...
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What EPCOT and preschool have in common (7/10/23)When your best friend from middle school wants to take you to "The Happiest Place on Earth", you say "yes". I visited Walt Disney World once when I was 6 years old and remember very little about the trip. Disney's Pop Century Resort handed me — at 48 years old — a "1st time" button at check-in and I pinned it to my "Coco"-inspired ball cap. After all, I had gone to Magic Kingdom as a kid. This trip we were EPCOT-bound with "Park Hopper" tickets in hand so we could explore...
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Don't skip summer reading with your kids. It really matters. (7/1/23)We tend to relax a bit more in the summer -- bedtimes get later, and many routines go out the window -- but don't let up on family reading. I can recite my children's favorite picture books, from "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" to "Dr. Seuss's ABC" and "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom." For young children, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing, so favorites get read again and again. Reading routines are special and they reach far beyond literacy skills...
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Why a happy marriage is my most ambitious goal (6/24/23)I've always felt that my husband was my greatest fan and biggest cheerleader. He has supported me while I chased my dreams. Through chronic illness and little-to-no income, he's had my back. My marriage is the foundation from which many of my ambitions were launched. It is my solid rock bed of support for chasing career aspirations...
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Gold stars buy nothing: why we should be more ambitious about community care (6/17/23)I set out chamomile seedlings on the table in my yard so neighbors could grab them. The Buy Nothing group I belong to is a form of community care, but I would have never called it that prior to reading Rainesford Stauffer's new book, "All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways we Strive." Buy Nothing groups are online communities where members can ask for what they need and share items they no longer need. All free, hence the name...
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Kids don't need exceptions, they need fortitude (6/10/23)My son has been pouting about a life jacket for two days. Summer has begun and so has day camp at the YMCA. My son wanted to attend this summer camp knowing that he'd get to swim every day. He's been taking swim lessons since last fall and has mastered skills like floating on his back and picking up toys at the bottom of the pool in the shallow end. ...
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Are you raising a free-range kid? (6/7/23)How much independence is your child really ready to handle, and how willing are you to grant it? "Mom, can I walk to Courtney's house?" My daughter asked me. She was 10 years old. "Is there a parent home?" I asked. There was. I considered the route. Courtney lived in the neighborhood, a cul-de-sac, just down the street and around the corner. There are no busy streets to cross, the streets have sidewalks, and I knew this family well...
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Memorial Day weekend kicks off summer in the neighborhood (5/27/23)Memorial Day is the day set aside each year to remember those who gave all in service to this country. For many of us, it's a three-day weekend that also marks the end of the school year. We remember fallen soldiers, yes. But we also kick off the summer...
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I'm no Martha Stewart. I just want to leave my vanity in the past (5/20/23)Martha Stewart is on the cover of Sports Illustrated at 81 years old, and whether you love it or hate it, everyone is talking about it. Bathing suit shopping is easily one of the top-10 activities women loathe. In a bathing suit, there's nowhere to hide. We must confront every physical insecurity and walk into a dressing room holding a lifetime of expectations that society has placed on us...
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A tale of two moms: It's OK to love mothers and stepmothers (5/13/23)My Dad married my stepmother when I was 8 years old. My mom had died in a car accident a year prior. After my dad remarried, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to love my stepmom. I did love her, don't get me wrong, but I was riddled with guilt over it. ...
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Why sometimes we have to hold space for the struggle (5/8/23)Yes, I'm struggling. No, I don't want help. Wait, what? It made no sense to my husband either. He knows that my joints hurt and that I struggle with fatigue. It's all part of my autoimmune disease, psoriatic arthritis. May is both Mental Health Awareness Month and Arthritis Awareness Month. Both of these intersect within me. Let me explain...
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I'm sick. You're sick. We've all been sick for a year — here's why. (5/1/23)In the past year, my family has had COVID-19, the flu, strep throat, ear infections and many colds. This was even after we had our recommended flu and COVID-19 vaccines. When I mentioned this fact, my doctor kindly reminded me that my flu vaccine was why I was sitting in her office and not at the hospital. ...
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Garden memories and the love they germinate (4/22/23)My son placed seeds in the dirt one at a time while encouraging each of them to "grow, grow, grow!" Then, we went to a paint-and-bake pottery place. My son chose a small cactus and a miniature Eiffel Tower to paint. "To put in the garden," he told me...
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The slippery slope of the Second Amendment (4/17/23)In order to develop solutions to mass shootings in this country, we must first establish a foundation of fact that everyone can agree on. Yes, I'm talking about the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution. A question I often get in response to my columns about mass shootings goes something like this:...
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Are Americans so self-righteous we no longer consider the greater good? (4/1/23)"We're not going to fix it," Rep. Tim Burchett, R-Tenn., said following the shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville that killed six people, including three children. "Criminals will be criminals," he said. He may as well have said, "Meh." A student was shot at my daughter's high school when she was a freshman. ...
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The one where Matthew Perry is sober (3/27/23)I waited 14 weeks on the library waiting list to listen to the audiobook version of Matthew Perry's much-anticipated memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing". The first thing I loved about the book was learning that Chandler Bing and Perry have a lot of personality similarities. Chandler Bing has always been my favorite "Friend". And truth be told, while he was crushing on Jen, I was crushing on him. I love a man who can make me laugh...
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Women's History Month: Love, loss and the everyday women who raised me (3/6/23)Last week marked 40 years since my mom died. Grief works in curious ways and comes in waves long after a loved one has passed. It shows up in unexpected ways. This year, for me, it showed up in my son's face. My son is 7 years old, the same age I was when my mother died. ...
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Marie Kondo, welcome to the world of go with the flow (2/24/23)Marie Kondo recently said that she's "kind of given up," and I'm so thrilled for her. Welcome to the world of go with the flow. If the glass is half full, then my house is half clean. Kondo told The Washington Post that the huge change happened after she had her third child. "My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life."...
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Why hard days don't always need to be fixed (2/13/23)We try not to sit with our pain for too long. We want to fix what hurts. I made a mistake at work last week. I owned it, listened, apologized and learned. I know I'll do better next time. Accountability is important, but when it first happened, all I could muster in the kitchen when retelling it to my husband was, "I messed up and it's hard." He searched for ways to help, and I followed up again with, "I don't want you to try to fix it right now; I just need you to listen."...
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What's more dangerous, a gang member or an activist? (2/8/23)Julian Rubinstein and Terrance Roberts are an unlikely pair. Both grew up in Denver, but Rubinstein is a journalist and Roberts is an ex-gang-member-turned-activist who is now running for mayor. The two met after Roberts, at his own peace rally in Denver's Holly Square, shot active gang member Hasan Jones...
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Why your child's personality should determine how you parent (1/21/23)I got a note from my son's teacher saying he was not "meeting classroom expectations." He's in the first grade. The offense? Talking out of turn. My husband gave me that all-too-familiar look when I told him. You know, the look that means, "He gets it from you."...
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What happens when your phone seems more important than your child? (1/14/23)I listen to audiobooks and podcasts with headphones on while I clean. My son taps me on the shoulder to interrupt if he needs something. It's as simple as a pause button for my full attention. I reason that this is better than blaring whatever I want to listen to through the Echo...
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Why I need 2023 to pull me from last year's wreckage (1/7/23)I was hit by a hearse on my way home from a routine doctor appointment. It was a minor fender bender at a stoplight. While waiting for the light to turn green a hearse backed out of its parking space at the bakery to my right and crunched into my passenger side door...
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My hope for more healing in 2023 (12/31/22)I got an unexpected Facebook message from someone I had unfriended a couple of years back. We disagree on politics, and I just could not handle all the hateful rhetoric in their feed. So, I clicked the unfriend button. This person hopes we can be friends again. "I am more for human beings than for politicians. I've had enough of them," they wrote. I agreed. I am pro-kindness and pro-humanity...
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This holiday season, show some grace (12/24/22)My daughter lost her dad to cancer. My best friend's elderly dog died. Plus, I and many of my colleagues are furloughed this month to satisfy the budget of our corporate employers. Still others were terminated. The holidays feel especially hard this year. The pandemic has waxed and waned but lingers still. Illness is all around in an active "tripledemic" with cases of COVID-19, influenza and respiratory syncytial virus, known as RSV, on the rise...
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Holiday hugs: Let kids say no (12/19/22)Understanding consent starts at home, and the holiday season is a good time to visit the fundamentals and practice personal boundaries. We tell kids, "Keep your hands to yourself." But we also need to teach kids that affection is not mandatory. They don't have to hug that relative they only see during the holidays. They can and should say no when they don't want to...
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Whole foods for less pain (12/10/22)Last month, the flu hit our house and even though I've had my flu vaccine, I was sick for a solid two weeks. My cough lingered even longer. I have psoriatic arthritis. The biologic medication I take to treat it is an immunosuppressant drug. I had to stop my medication, so my body needed a fighting chance against the flu...
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Why I tend to write about myself (12/3/22)Someone recently asked in the comments section of one of my columns, "Do you ever write about something other than yourself?" It was a snarky comment, for sure, because if you Google my name you'll see that I've written about everything from silver nanoparticles to how a bust of Cuban Hero Jose Marti ended up in a Kentucky park...
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How my husband taught me to be grateful for the moment (11/26/22)When I met my husband, Felipe, he seemed to sum up my biggest life lesson with his mere existence. The circumstances surrounding his position in my path forced me to come to terms with abandonment issues I'd been avoiding for a long time. Before Felipe, I thought that if I left myself subject to vulnerability, I would not survive the infliction from the other end. ...
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How my sister inspired me to get back to music (11/8/22)I had contemplated giving them away. So, when I started unpacking at our new place and hadn't seen them yet, I worried that I really had and just forgot. Marie Kondo writes of only keeping things that spark joy, but what about those things that cause dread when you imagine that they are gone? I'm talking about my music books. These are the books of sheet music that I've lugged around for years and have moved from house to house, though it's been awhile since I've played my guitar...
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Keep contempt out of your conversations: Our children are watching (10/22/22)Midterm elections are upon us, and what I dread the most is the amped-up online vitriol in my newsfeed. It's everywhere, on both sides of the political aisle, fed to us through television, radio and social media. I teach my kids about the destructiveness of name-calling and contempt in relationships. ...
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Our free press is on fire, and no one can spare the water (10/15/22)Gannett, publisher of USA Today and more than 200 newspapers including the one I work for, just announced more cost-cutting measures. I get that it's a simple business equation. It's hard to work in the Gannett Machine without some mixed feelings. I'm trying to sit with my emotions and understand how I feel...
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How Nashville connected me to Loretta Lynn (10/12/22)Yes, both Loretta Lynn and I are from Kentucky, but this goes deeper. The year was 2008 and I was headed to Nashville for corporate training. I had convinced my employer to let me fly in early so I could enjoy Nashville for the weekend first. I wanted to spend some time with my guitar in singer-songwriter-ville. ...
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How remote work expanded my professional options with chronic illness (10/3/22)One year ago, I accepted the opinion editor position at The Courier Journal in Louisville, Kentucky. This is my first "real job" since 2010 when I worked as the executive director of a small community center in Michigan while freelance writing for magazines on the side...
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What cannot be duplicated in a digital space (9/24/22)The pandemic taught us that a lot of things can happen efficiently from a distance. It helped normalize working remotely, delivering groceries and even contactless delivery. I'm grateful for all of these things in my busy life even when I'm not trying to "flatten the curve."...
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How our dream house fell apart when faced with a pandemic (9/21/22)We're closing on our house and this move feels like a failure. We purchased the house six months before the pandemic hit. We'd moved from Louisville back to the small Northern Kentucky community where I grew up. I have friends remaining in the community and I looked forward to being a part of it once again...
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Why music will always be my hype man (9/12/22)The other day, while listening to '90s radio on Pandora, I was transported back to a high school assembly, one meant to deliver doses of optimism and confidence to teens. The assembly was packed with stories of perseverance. I don't recall a single narrative, but what I do remember is the video montage set to the song "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips. It was 1990 and that song spoke to 14-year-old me in a way that I struggle to articulate...
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Why relationships are best when we take time to work on ourselves (9/6/22)We've all heard that relationships take work, and it's true. When love is at its best it is a verb. Our relationships have meaning when we value them enough to actively protect, nurture and honor their places in our lives. But what many people get wrong about relationships, particularly romantic love and marriage, is not realizing that to foster a relationship we must also work on ourselves...
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The state fair reminded me of how much I love 4-H (8/27/22)My son is in the first grade. It's that age of sampling different things and figuring out what interests him. He played summer T-ball and took a winter hip-hop dance class. He talks about wanting to play the piano but also wants to learn how to code, thanks to Minecraft. He told me the other day, "Mom, geography is my jam, and astronomy is geography of space!" The sky is definitely the limit with this kid...
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Falling into the season of substance (8/22/22)"In the grand scheme of things, you're only pretty for a second. So, you'd better back it up with something." That's what I told my daughters when they were teens in attempts to keep their vanity in check. I'm currently living in that transitional stage — going from beauty to what I've backed it up with. ...
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Teachers used to get apples; now, they get grief (8/15/22)An apple has long been a symbol of education; think of the familiar tradition of children bringing apples to their teachers. According to Smithsonian magazine, families in the frontier days were often responsible for housing and feeding frontier teachers, and supposedly during the Great Depression farmers were known to offer educators a bushel of apples to help them through hard times. ...
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How connections may determine our karma (7/29/22)The older I get, the smaller the world seems. I attended a Zoom meeting this week after being invited to be part of a journalism project in my state. It was a small meeting of just three of us. A fourth person signed on and I smiled: a familiar face. ...
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Learning to love dogs (7/23/22)It never occurred to me that loving dogs could be considered an accomplishment of sorts until when talking to my neighbor recently she said, "It's amazing you like dogs at all." I grew up with cats and definitely considered myself a cat person. But I loved all animals and relished every encounter with a new critter until I was 11 years old...
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How anti-abortion laws complicate medical degrees (7/16/22)We have a big medical mess that will cost women their lives and physicians their competency. That realization is what stopped me in my tracks as I listened to Dr. Toni M. Ganzel, Dean of the University of Louisville School of Medicine speak to the Kentucky Interim Joint Committee on Judiciary last week...
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How overturning Roe v. Wade strips women of maintenance medication for chronic illness (7/9/22)Supreme Court justices did not think through how the Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization decision would intersect with our health care system beyond abortion access. I have psoriatic arthritis. Methotrexate is the go-to medication for people like me with PsA and other autoimmune diseases such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease and more. Methotrexate is also prescribed to treat ectopic pregnancies...
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Who will help the women? (7/2/22)The first thing I did when Roe v. Wade was overturned was apologize to my daughters. The Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization decision will affect them more than me. I'm 47, happily married and have my tubes tied. My daughters are 21 and 26. This decision changes their life. The rights they understood in their formative years have been deemed a "states' issue." The fight now becomes a local one...
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Remembering how to road trip for summer vacation (6/27/22)The pandemic really cramped our vacation style. We hunkered down and weathered waves of COVID-19 while awaiting vaccines and effective treatment. Marketing research company One Poll surveyed American parents and found that more than half (55%) of families haven't had a vacation in at least three years; however, 70% are planning to take one within the next 18 months. Many of us are ready to hit the road again and enjoy some much-needed relaxation time with the family...
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How I ended up on a road trip with my high school English teacher (6/18/22)I took a road trip with my high school English teacher last weekend. Sixteen-year-old me got a big kick out of it. I was not a good student, but I've always loved to write. If I missed a homework assignment it was likely because I thought writing in my journal was a better use of my time. I stand by that decision...
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Why working together should matter to us all (6/7/22)We have a bamboo problem at our house. The previous owners planted it and while it's great for privacy, it's also super invasive. It has gotten to the point where unless we adopt a panda family, we need to eradicate the bamboo forest in our backyard...
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Gun violence in America is the definition of insanity (6/1/22)I cannot keep up with the horror and my aching heart helps no one. Offerings of "thoughts and prayers" make me want to gouge my own eyes out. Gun violence in America is the definition of insanity. Guns matter more. Let's just be honest. How you interpret the Second Amendment is literally the hill Americans are willing to die on...
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Why I cherish the ring I found at a charity yard sale (5/16/22)It was the Saturday of the first weekend I had ever spent with Felipe. Our relationship was in that place and time when I knew my heart was approaching the point of no return. He had already met my best friends and my family. He showed up to my Tuesday night guitar gig and even read an essay of mine I hadn't yet published. Felipe seemed intrigued by all of the quirks and qualities that existed in me...
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Mother's Day is for planting (5/7/22)Mother's Day means I can put flowers in the ground without fear of frost. It's the commercial name given to my annual OK-to-plant day. It's time for warmth and new growth in my planting zone. Any other reason to honor the day has been determined by someone else. Consumers are expected to spend roughly $31.7 billion in honor of Mother's Day this year according to Yahoo Finance, and I wonder if my plants are included in that total...
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How journalism is in search of its iPod solution (5/2/22)It's no secret that journalism is struggling. News deserts exist where local publications have folded, and in other places corporate ownership has replaced hometown family-owned newspapers. Policy that reaches back to the Nixon administration and beyond played its part...
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Generosity of spirit starts at home and supports us through hard times (4/18/22)All relationships have their "Cell Block Tango" moments. You know, the song from the Broadway musical "Chicago." The song opens with poor Ernie, who likes to chew gum. No, not chew — pop! "He had it coming ..." so the song goes. The pandemic has tested our close relationships. ...
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Spring storms are hard on trees; here's how to take care of them (4/9/22)A strong spring wind blew as I walked to the bus stop to meet my son. I congratulated myself for making sure we had our trees pruned of deadwood last year. I've learned the hard way that dead limbs will fall. Where we used to live, a huge elm tree dropped a limb on my car ... twice. (Note to self: Stop parking beneath questionable trees.)...
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How COVID-19 finally hit home for my family (4/4/22)After two years of caution, groceries being delivered, mask-wearing and vaccinations, COVID-19 finally caught up with me. I've been dreading this. Prior to vaccine availability, I was terrified of it, even. I have an autoimmune disease and am on immunosuppressant medication. ...
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The problem with prior authorization in health care (3/22/22)If you've ever undergone a medical procedure, you've probably encountered prior authorization. It is the process your doctor must go through to determine what portion (if any) your insurance will pay. Prior authorization is defined according to HealthCare.gov as a decision by your health insurer that determines if certain treatment plans, prescription drugs or durable medical equipment are "medically necessary." The process is time-consuming for medical providers and nerve-wracking for patients awaiting treatment.. ...
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Reform should not happen one death at a time (3/14/22)On March 3, a jury found former Louisville Metro Police Department officer Brett Hankison not guilty of wanton endangerment. Breonna Taylor was not the victim in this trial — her neighbors were, though it all stems from the same fatal no-knock warrant implemented at her apartment two years ago...
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How I 'Zoom' through deadlines every week with friends (3/7/22)On Sunday afternoons, I log in to my Zoom account, join a meeting, mute myself and ignore everyone else on the call. I'm not being rude; everyone else does the same. All of our faces are on the screen, and we say a quick hello. But when the clock strikes 4 p.m. everyone mutes and gets to work...
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Why your child's personality should determine how you parent (2/28/22)"He gets that from you." How many times have you said that to your partner about one of your children? My son talks nonstop and when he's upset, he's loud about it, which I know is 100% my DNA. Personality traits like talkativeness and adaptability are hard-wired, so those teasing comments we all make to the other parent are rooted in truth. ...
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Arrested? How making bail determines your experience with our justice system (2/19/22)I was 19 years old when a car turned left in front of me without looking and I plowed into it. First responders placed me on a stretcher and loaded me into an ambulance. The police officer on the scene asked me for my license and registration. The contents of my purse had spilled in the back seat of my beat-up Buick Somerset on impact. I couldn't produce them...
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I don't know the game, but I know the fans: Why Cincinnati fans deserve a Super Bowl Win (2/12/22)I've never been a big sports fan, but Cincinnati is my hometown. I grew up across the river in Kentucky and my first real job was in concessions at Riverfront Stadium as a teen. It's hard not to get nostalgic about the Bengals even if playing for my high school marching band at Friday night football games was about as close to being a football fan as I ever got. Seeing enthusiastic posts of "Who-Dey!" all over my social media feeds takes me back...
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The making of a reader (2/8/22)There's a voracious reader in all of us, I thought, but my youngest daughter was determined to prove me wrong. I took her to the eye doctor for one reason: so he could tell my melodramatic third-grader there was no physical reason she couldn't complete her reading homework. But when he asked her to wear 3D glasses and tell him which wing of the butterfly popped out, she came up empty every time. Not only did she have zero depth perception, but she also had double vision...
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Are we thriving? (1/29/22)I teach my kids about the destructiveness of name-calling and contempt in relationships, and I think it's a lesson we all could use a refresher on. If you call me names, I just know you disapprove of me for some reason. It's not productive. Dr. John Gottman is well known for his research on relationships. ...
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Checking my privilege as an adult and removing the labels of my childhood (1/22/22)I have two older sisters. Our parents deemed me "the talented one." I took music and dance lessons. My middle sister was "the smart one." She was a certified SCUBA diver as a teen and a member of the Junior Zoologists Club. My eldest sister was "the pretty one." She took modeling lessons and even participated in a pageant...
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Finding gratitude in the little gifts of online learning (1/19/22)The omicron variant of COVID-19 has surged to the point that many school districts are back to remote learning. When the transition was announced in my son's school, I felt a rush of relief. Though he's fully vaccinated, I knew he would be safer at home from the highly infectious omicron variant. We've seen many around us suffer breakthrough cases and as a person with autoimmune disease, I really want to get through this pandemic without testing my luck with infection...
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That one night when my Nashville dreams came true (1/5/22)The year was 2008, and after contending with a snowstorm I finally made it to the airport for my flight. Work had scheduled me for compliance training in Nashville, Tennessee, and I wanted to spend some time with my guitar while I was there. More than 70 singer-songwriters stood in line outside the iconic Bluebird Cafe on Monday night for open mic. ...
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Foster kindness, identify solutions and spread joy in 2022 (12/28/21)On New Year's Eve, when I was a kid, at the stroke of midnight we would run outside and bang pots and pans with a wooden spoon to ring in the new year. Those were the modest homemade noisemakers of our small Kentucky town. As a teen, I would dream of being among the crowd in New York City when the ball dropped. I declared that's where I'd be for the year 2000. I wasn't. I was 25 years old and pregnant with my daughter. I slept right through it. Staying up until midnight had lost its novelty...
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Why parents shouldn't rely on Santa for big Christmas gifts (12/18/21)Between the breaking news from the tornadic devastation in the Midwest, I worked on Christmas crafts with my kindergartner. The juxtaposition of hardship and the holidays reminded me of Christmastime with my daughter when she was young. My son is 15 years younger than his closest sibling. ...
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Kids: Let them text (12/11/21)I've seen the inside of a lot of therapy rooms and never, not once, has an important disclosure included confident eye contact. I've shredded soggy tissues with eyes cast down. I have chewed an unruly cuticle. Never have I wanted to look my therapist in the eye...
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Family, and country, divided (12/6/21)My brother is older than me and when I was in high school, he worked second shift. I'd stay up waiting for him to get home and we'd work on jigsaw puzzles on the floor of his bedroom late into the night. Later, we went through divorces at the same time, and we helped each other through our hard times. ...
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It's OK to gush with gratitude; so let the love flow (11/27/21)It started about a year into the pandemic and before vaccines were widely available. I was looking for my next book to read and my friend Christi told me I "had to read" Tara Schuster's "Buy Yourself the F-cking Lilies," so I did. It was exactly what I needed and right on time in so many ways. One chapter was about writing thank-you notes, and after a year of isolation, that sounded like a wonderful idea...
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Cultivating your purpose begins with knowing yourself (11/24/21)The first time I ever wrote something with the intent of sharing it beyond the classroom was through 4-H. I grew up in a small town in northern Kentucky, right across the river from Cincinnati, Ohio. In both fifth and sixth grades, I earned a blue ribbon in the local 4-H speech competition and even got to compete regionally. ...
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Volunteering helps both the community and the volunteer (11/13/21)As a kid, I would go to work with my stepmom, who worked at the Museum of Natural History. I volunteered wherever anyone needed me. I assisted with children's programming, answered the phone and even got to hold the resident rainbow boa constrictor for visitors to see. It was fun, I made friends and it also gave me confidence, new skills and a sense of purpose before I was old enough to be gainfully employed...
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Be the helper you need to see in the world (11/6/21)The holiday season is identified as one of gratitude, joy and generosity. But all of that cheer can be hard to stomach when coping with compounding grief and stress, and this pandemic has left no stone unturned. I think of the famous Fred Rogers quote. ...
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How cemeteries get creative to survive in their role of caring for the dead (10/30/21)As a teenager, I frequently walked to St. Stephen Cemetery after school to sit by my mom's headstone. She died in a car accident when I was 7 and I didn't confront what that meant for me until adolescence. A local cemetery frequently hosts events and entertainment in their space, and it didn't sit with me well at first. It seemed flip. Disrespectful at the least. An exploitation of death at worst. It bothered me and I had questions. Luckily, I knew just who to ask...
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Why goldenrod doesn't deserve its bad rap (10/23/21)Cooler weather has finally arrived here in the Midwest. It's time for trips to your favorite pumpkin patch, u-pick apple orchard and corn maze. Outdoor activities are glorious in a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweatshirt. It's my favorite time of year, and yet I cannot stop sneezing...