Volunteering can be done in no time at all

NEW YORK -- Got five minutes?

Even most busy people can spare 300 seconds, and that's enough time to check e-mail, flip through a catalog -- or make the difference in someone else's life.

Volunteer work, whether it's a regular gig at a soup kitchen or writing a greeting card to someone in a nursing home, is probably as valuable an experience for the do-gooder as the recipient, says author and mother Jenny Friedman.

Friedman wrote the new book "The Busy Family's Guide to Volunteering: Do Good, Have Fun, Make a Difference as a Family" (Robins Lane Press).

"People get helper's high," she says. "It makes us feel good to know we are making a difference, plus it's a way for you to spend time with your family. Enthusiasm from parents is contagious to children."

She adds: "One of the best reasons to volunteer is because you are so busy. Everyone in the family is so scattered, so this gives us some time together, and we'll be doing something worthwhile."

Volunteer work also is an opportunity to broach subjects that might otherwise seem awkward at the dinner table but are important for children to be aware of so they grow up to be socially aware adults.

"We have believed for a long time that the idea of family volunteering a major strategy for building important family bonds and to cultivate values within families. It also tackles the issue of the lack of time families have together," says Robert K. Goodwin, president and CEO of the Points of Life Foundation, a Washington-based organization that advocates community service.

When parents see their children working for the community -- and vice versa -- it tends to boost the level of mutual respect, Goodwin observes.

"There is a stereotype, often borne out by fact, that teenagers are self-absorbed. ... And parents typically create their own mind-set about young people being unwilling to be externally focused," he says. "A meaningful common experience might help break down those stereotypes."

Also, adds Minneapolis-based Friedman, who has three children, kids who participate in volunteer work are more likely to appreciate the things others do for them and those they love.

For instance, she says, these children are more likely to make the connection that someone gave up his Saturday afternoons to make sure the nature trails used by Grandpa at the nursing home are clear of debris and well marked.

Friedman's own family has delivered meals to the elderly, cooked at a homeless shelter, mentored homeless children and hosted a foreign exchange student.

Getting multiple generations involved in volunteer work requires a little more planning and preparation than it would for a single adult.

First comes the task of choosing an activity that won't become a dreaded chore. There has to be some enjoyment in it for the youngsters, says Friedman, because you don't want children to dread doing good. "There is something out there to appeal to the skills and personalities of everyone in the family."

Goodwin notes that different family members can tackle different assignments on the same project; a family helping Habitat for Humanity build a home for an underprivileged family might divide up the chores. After all, there is hammering, gardening, organizing and painting to be done.

Some other youth-oriented volunteer options include: teaching nursing home residents computer skills, visiting a pediatric ward of a local hospital with some board games in tow to play with the patients; reading to children in the waiting room of a medical clinic; offering to read mail to someone who is blind, or working at adoption fairs for animals.

Working with underprivileged or disabled people, in particular, requires some gentle handling, though.

Parents don't want to scare their own children, exposing them to people or places that make them really uncomfortable, but parents also need to make sure that children treat the people they are helping with the utmost respect. It's not helpful to anyone for children to walk into a shelter with a holier-than-thou attitude -- that's missing the point of volunteering entirely, Friedman says.

"Once you spend time with people, stereotypes melt away," she notes.

Friedman says sometimes she finds it's the parents who resist the volunteer project while the children are gung-ho. One idea that can be done out of your own home is to correspond and provide necessities to a rural poor family.

"Volunteering doesn't have to be hugely time consuming; just look for maximum impact," she says. "If you decide to donate food to a shelter, all you do is buy one extra item each time you grocery shop, and every other month go to the shelter and drop it off."

Volunteering also can mean different things to different people: Social-action work, political work and community-building work all fall under the "volunteering" umbrella.

"Some people say, 'I don't do anything,' but many times they already are volunteering in some way. But being aware that you are doing it means you can share with your kids and the why behind it," says Friedman.