Valentine's Day books, for those who adore it and those who abhor it

To some, Valentine's Day means love and kisses. To others, it's a day they'd just love to kiss off.

But whether Feb. 14 sets your heart ablaze or simply gives you heartburn, you can probably relate to at least one of these recent books.

What is love? More than 350 answers to that tough question are in "Love Is ... a Wild Ride" (Abrams). This chunky hardcover is a collection of Kim Casali's popular, syndicated "Love Is ..." cartoons that feature a childlike and usually naked (but innocently so) couple.

Answers to an infinite number of questions about love -- which the reader must supply -- are offered by "The Oracle of Love" (Simon & Schuster) by Georgia Routsis Savas. Readers' "questions of the heart" are resolved through the ancient art of bibliomancy, that is, consulting a randomly selected page of a book to divine an answer.

In "Oracle," answers are derived from several sources, including numerology, astrology, the tarot and crystal ball. Each answer is illustrated by a woodcut. "Happily Ever After" (Simon & Schuster), on the other hand, offers a collection of Charles Addams' cartoons with ironic and darkly comic views of love and marriage "to Chill the Heart of Your Loved One."

Addams, whose work appeared frequently in The New Yorker magazine, died in 1988. This book's 150 cartoons include classics as well as previously unpublished pieces from his personal archives.

And even Prince Charming and Cinderella aren't "living "happily ever after," or so they tell their marriage counselor.

Your man might go from "dud" to "dude" when you compare him to the rogues' gallery found in "50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours" (Bloomsbury) by Justin Racz. These guys -- strange, rude, embarrassing and downright dangerous -- are examples of men that even the mother most desperate for grandchildren would not want her little girl to bring home.

There's "Thrifty," recognizable by his clearance-rack khakis and denims from last year; the "Man With Cats," who will make sure your dates will never be "just the two of you"; and "Hypochondriac Hal" (look for the "gas mask and old Y2K survival kit" in his closet). Also on the do-not-call list are "Stalker," "Backhanded Complimenter," "Comedian" and "Your Boss." There are even two blank pages reserved for bad-catch No. 51: "Your Boyfriend."

"The Men in Your Life: Timeless Advice and Wisdom on Managing the Opposite Sex" (Morrow) by Genevieve Antoine Dariaux is compact enough for discreet emergency consultation below the dinner table or in the ladies' room. This bright-pink reissue of a book originally published in Great Britain in 1968 is an A-to-Z guide on dozens of aspects of maleness.

Charm, we are told, is something "a man must possess" to succeed; "life would be very dull indeed with a husband who is lacking in it." Suggested to the women whose man "snores like a vacuum cleaner": sleep on the living room sofa. Other snippets of advice cover boyfriends and blind dates, jewelry and jealousy, patience and pajamas, flowers and diamonds, time and money, adultery and fidelity, and love and kisses.

Observations on osculation -- that is, a look at kissing -- are found in "Kiss & Tell: A Trivial Study of Smooching" (Quirk). Kevin Dwyer's little book offers no lip service but plenty of facts about kissing drawn from history, science and pop culture. Lipstick, movie kisses, KiSS (a computer-created "paper" doll), KISS radio, the Blarney Stone and mistletoe are among the aspects covered.

There's an etymology of "kiss" and "kiss" phrases, an explanation of kissing customs abroad, and lists of top-10 "kissing" songs for each decade from the 1950s to the 1990s. Duly noted, too, are Hershey's foil-wrapped chocolate kiss as well as "The Kiss" -- the name of an 1886 sculpture by Rodin and a 1907 painting by Klimt.

Those who think that love is for complete idiots might want to check out the romantic advice in three paperback volumes in the "Complete Idiot's Guide" series published by Alpha: "Pleasing Your Man" and "Pleasing Your Woman" by Eve Salinger, and "Long-Distance Relationships" by Seetha Narayan.