Turning adversity into success

How do you turn bad happenings into fodder for strength, into food for a more effective you? How do you become someone who doesn't back away when things do not go your way and, instead, turn into an individual who picks up the pieces and plunges ahead?

You confront life with a vengeance -- a productive reckoning that drives you to complete your dreams someway -- those dreams you alone can accomplish.

I've know many who've overcome adversity and turned the defeat into a force for living a fulfilling, useful and happy life.

I recently listened to a man, Marcus, who was being interviewed. The man was blind and incurred the disability at around 5 years of age. His mother, particularly, refused to allow him to feel sorry for himself.

That is the most important obstacle someone must overcome when something undesirable happens to him. This can be something so ordinary as getting your feelings hurt.

Although it may seem simple, and of little consequence, many let what someone says, or does, to them ruin their whole life. They won't let it go. They take it personally without asking themselves why that person may have said or done the thing that was offensive to them. Knowing the cause may change one's perspective entirely.

Marcus gave his parents much credit for his being able to overcome his severe disappointment at having become blind. Evidently he loved music, and one day after school he found a huge surprise waiting at his house. "I almost fell over it," he said. "I wasn't used to any furniture setting there, and since I was blind, I didn't see it."

If you haven't already guessed, the surprise was a piano. He was overjoyed because he had gained a natural and unusual talent for playing the piano.

Marcus began to play and was soon a very popular entertainer. He later became famous, writing songs and even mentoring in the musical realm. He was never allowed to pity himself, he told the interviewer. He credited his mother with that restriction.

If you look around you, you will see innumerable heroes who overcome all kinds of difficult obstacles. Constructive suffering makes people persevere, try hard, and eventually become victorious at overcoming the results of their misfortune. At least, to the point they can lead a satisfying life. They feel fulfilled because they've overcome the fear of failing and having little hope for the future. Instead they throw their shoulders back and march ahead, sometimes gritting their teeth but putting one foot in front of the other.

Support from others is an important factor in overcoming adversity. People who lose limbs, for example, receive the help of doctors, therapists, radiologists, counselors and, one would hope, other people who encourage them verbally and emotionally.

I know one young man who owns a lawn-care business. I'm unsure what his challenge is, but he delights in participating in Special Olympics. He's won several trophies and greatly looks forward to the meets. He works hard in all kinds of weather. When I see him wipe sweat from his brow, uncomplainingly, I sense that he is proud and fulfilled. He is stepping out and doing his best, on his own. I feel he must think himself a success -- and he is.

Often, God points you in a different direction when you encounter a dilemma that keeps you from reaching what you feel is your true calling. However, usually, there is something better ahead. You, perhaps, would never have found your purpose had you not experienced your misfortune.

Marcus is happy with God's choice and gives credit to God, judging from a statement he made during the interview. He said, "If you get to do what you want to do in life, you are blessed indeed!" He certainly feels set-apart. His mom told him to turn his adversity into success and he did. "You can too."

Say, as Paul did. "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction.