The many quiet heroes among us

"Talking about unsung heroes," there are many right at your backdoor, within your home, on the streets and places untouched.

God spoke of one such group in the Bible, although they weren't referred to as heroes. I'm speaking of widows. People are urged to help those who are alone, especially widows and orphans. Exodus 22:22 says "You shall not afflict any widow or orphan." There are numerous Scriptures concerning widows and orphans.

Widows, and widowers, too, have a difficult time, particularly when their spouse first leaves them. Unless you've walked in their shoes, I doubt if anyone truly understands their plight. Yet, few of them complain a lot. Most try to go on and make a new life for themselves -- a mission less than easy. They go with others who have normal lives and try to act as though everything is fine with them. They don't want to "rain on the parade," so to speak.

I recently gave a party and about four widows were present. I admired them. They were indeed my heroes. Most were smiling and entering into conversations like everyone else -- perhaps hiding the sorrow they still felt. I've heard so many widows say that life was not the same without their husbands, that it's a huge transition.

Many people are young and others are older when they must make the change from being a couple to being single. Sometimes being alone is by choice but other times it is forced upon you. Without undue attention, glory or any other pleasant ado, most of these silent heroes go on about their daily business putting on a brave front.

One lady who attended my party is 90 years of age. Emma had been a widow less than a year, yet she kept going on. I was so impressed that she had intended to drive about 16 miles round-trip to be present at the gathering. You see, Emma has only one eye. Yet she has lived with the challenge many years. She is also diabetic and regularly gives herself a daily shot. Emma lives alone and keeps up a house. She also takes care of all her own finances. Emma owns quite a few health problems -- yet she keeps on going. Emma works crossword puzzles and word-finds to keep alert, as well. Believe it or not, she even invited to the party one of her buddies, also a widow.

It just happened that it rained that afternoon, so my husband drove over to pick up the two ladies. I think they actually attended as a favor to me. Those widows were my heroes. Emma always said the thing she dreaded most was getting old. Yet that is unavoidable so one can either adjust or give up. They can't change the fact -- merely how they will adapt to the situation.

After contemplating the various challenges of those who are cast into unwanted circumstances, I realized that you really do not always have a choice. When life hands you what is hard to deal with, you can either pick up and plunge ahead or stay behind and remain miserable. Which you choose determines what kind of life you have -- happy or sad. I'm talking about those who are not yet to a place where they are very disabled, such as in nursing homes. But choice plays a part there also. If you're able, you can participate in the activities offered. Regardless, one can never give up.

This attitude can pertain to any state in life. There are constant adjustments everyone must make. People who refuse to give up, despite what happens to them, earn my highest admiration. You don't have to look far to find heroes in every walk of life. Stop looking to credit the extraordinary, and appreciate the ordinary sacrifices that common people make -- often just getting through the day -- often going unnoticed.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.