The Five of Clubbs: Scary love

When our babies would give us big, open-mouthed kisses that sometimes led to biting or hair pulling, Bob and I would say, "Uh-oh ... scary love!" When they gave us surprisingly powerful toddler hug/knee tackles that could knock us backward? "Oh, no! Scary love strikes again!"

Sometimes now I observe them quietly reading or working on something and get such a burst of pride that I announce, "Scary love!" and pounce on them, smothering them with affection.

It occurred to me the other day as I was writing a heartfelt Facebook message to my uncle, that my kids aren't the only recipients of "scary love." I extend this kind of love to my aunts, uncles, cousins and friends -- a need to share affection and gratitude that comes with growing up and from experiencing sudden loss.

My dad went to work one day five years ago and didn't come home. We knew we loved each other, but there was a lot left unsaid. I took for granted that we would have time. So, I'm more likely to let people know right now, "Hey, here's something I really admire about you ..." or, "Let me tell you what I really appreciate that you did for me ..." Does this make people nervous that I think one of us is going to die soon? I hope not. I just think these words shouldn't be like the good dishes and only brought out on a few special occasions each year.

I guess something to ponder as we head into chocolate-covered, heart-bedecked Valentine's Day is that all love is a little scary. It's risky to care a lot about something, whether it's a person, a dog or a cause. It's even riskier to let the world know you care about it. You could be rejected. You could lose it.

But in the end, I would choose a sloppy baby smooch over being perfectly polished, and I would choose pouncing over standing by. My passion might overwhelm in the classroom, at the dinner table or in a Facebook message. I'll have to deal with the consequences. Scary love won't make life easier, but it will make it worth living.

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About Brooke

Brooke has one husband, two dogs, three kids, four aunts and uncles, 14 cousins and is passionate about teaching, running, cooking, reading, writing, scrapbooking, social justice and health communication (not necessarily in that order). There's a lot of scary love to go around.