Struggle often serves a purpose

How often have you wished that you didn't have to struggle? Everything would go as planned without a hitch? I think everyone has desired that state of life. Is struggle a bad thing? Is it actually life-giving? One often wonders.

Why do some survive the struggles of life and grow from them whereas struggle defeats others. It breaks them rather than strengthens them. I've seen many survive struggles and others who have allowed severe problems to break their spirit. In her book "Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope," Joan Chittister says, "Through seeing those who struggle and allow those hurdles to defeat them and others who survive them, all struggle is not destructive. I have come to understand from them that it is not struggle that defeats us. It is our failure to struggle that depletes the human spirit." Chittister goes on to say, "All struggle is not loss. We not only can survive struggle, but, it seems, we are meant to survive in new ways, with new insights, with a new heart."

"We are meant to survive in new ways, with new insights and a new heart" is well worth remembering.

Understanding the value of struggle and the hope than can accompany the condition, can begin with something as familiar and simple as seeing a child struggle in school. As he tries to master his studies, it can be so difficult that, in trying, he may want to give up. Yet when he perseveres and attains a degree of success, the child finds he can accomplish that which he's tried so desperately to achieve. Once he finds a degree of confidence in his ability to get through the difficulties, he assumes a sense of pride. His self-esteem flourishes and his faith in himself escalates. The child then receives hope of further success in the future. If he had given up he would fail to progress.

Even though, often, one believes he can never emerge from an extremely difficult struggle if he keeps his faith and continues on, eventually, the struggle will end. Yes, it truly will. I know of one such woman whom I admire greatly. Marsha is middle-age and she has been encountering numerous severe struggles, one right after another. She has a daughter, Jenny, who's been extremely ill for years. Jenny recovers and tries to lead a normal life, then she slides backward. Marsha and her husband had always been there for her. Unexpectedly, Marsha's husband became gravely ill. He died within a few months. Regardless of the hardship that Marsha suffers every day presently, she still keeps her spirits up. She is an inspiration. Her daughter, Jenny, is still requiring all of Marsha's time and she admits she does feel like giving up at times. I feel sure Marsha will never give up. She strongly believes in the goodness of her God. I believe, almost certainly, that eventually her present trials will end and she will gain her freedom. She may be scarred by her struggle and despair at times, but I seriously doubt she will be defeated. Hopefully she will have gained new insights and depth of character.

Joan Chittister offers her summation of despair, a condition to which we're all vulnerable. "Despair is more likely a spiritual state than a psychological one, more sure to be a subjective one than a medical one." She says, "It doesn't rest in our genes. It rests in our evaluation of life and of God -- of the homing instincts of the self. It burns out in a certain ultimate belief in the goodness of God who is here -- but not visible -- present but not controlling. The one permanence in our ever changing lives."

Regardless of the intensity of your trials and struggles, never give up. There's a gift waiting for you. Chittister says, "Hope is the last great gift to come out of the grave of despair." Believe her!

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.