Spring Break in Gulf Shores: A diary by Liz Bertrand

Spring Break Pictures

Monday March 19, 9:30 p.m.

We (we, as in, Shannon, Party Nate, Jon Boy and I) are finally cruising south on 55 headed for Gulf Shores, Alabama after packing and re-packing my gray Mazda about three times. It's a little cramped with the coolers, sleeping bags and tent gear, but we're willing to make sacrifices for the beach. We opted to camp on this trip because it was incredibly cheap compared to hotels and none of us mind sleeping outside. Unfortunately, our first campground, Bay Breeze, decided (even though we put down our deposit a month ago ...) that RVs were more important than tent campers, so they called and canceled our reservations on us, bastards. So, at this point, we're wingin' it. We really don't care where we camp, even if it's in the middle of the woods. Gulf Shores State Park said they should have campsites but we're not sure if they'll have any.

Tuesday March 20, 4:11 a.m.

We're about seven hours into our trip in the middle of the night in the middle-of-nowhere Mississippi on 49 South. Deer are popping out of every corner scaring the crap out of us, especially Jon Boy because he's totaled a car in the past by hitting one. All of us are hyped up on lots of caffeine and getting a little stir crazy. We cure our boredom with billboards and town exit signs. Here are some of our favorites:

1.Cooter-Holland

2.Coffeeville

3.Yazoo City

4.Goodman-Ebenezer

5.Gluckstadt

and, last but not least, my favorite billboard... "BAPTIST -- More to Fight Cancer With."

Weird one-word signs like "church" and "petal" line the sides of the highway and don't provide arrows or any other further information; they're just there.

I wonder what people in these towns do and what these messages mean. Is Coffeeville a town of caffeine crazed coffee bean roasters? If I become a Baptist, will my chances of getting cancer become lower? All these questions...

Party Nate hopped in the front seat, took full control of the radio and decided to break out his Jimmy Buffett collection to get us ready for the beach. Around five, the Cool Runnings soundtrack was blaring through my speakers. Yes everyone, the bushy-bearded metalhead's favorite movie is Cool Runnings.

March 20, 9:30 a.m.

Yay! We have arrived! The state park had plenty of campsites and two empty ones right next to us for our party of five cronies that were a few hours behind us. The sun is shining, I haven't had a wink of sleep, but I'm ready for the beach. We noticed that the average age at the campground was around 50 or 60 so we decided right away that the drinking would have to happen during the sunny hours so we wouldn't be obnoxious at night.

March 20, 2 p.m.

The rest of our crew finally showed up and pitched tents right next to us. It worked out perfectly. We made some margaritas and bloody marys to go and headed straight for the beach because we were too excited and too hot to take naps in a sweaty tent. I didn't realize how white the sand was going to be and it felt nice and cool on my feet. The salty air provided no need for extra around the rim of my jug of margarita.

This beach beats out any that I have been to in my life so far. I don't see one piece of trash and the water is clean and clear, unlike beaches in Southern California that are littered with garbage and the ocean is not always swimmable.

Jon Boy's ankle is injured from a drunken mishap last week, but that didn't stop him from hobbling into the ocean, crutches and all. He was more than willing to be buried in the sand with bloody mary all over his face and kept up with all of us in the drinking department.

We're all acting like a bunch of little kids trying to search for a sand dollar that's intact and digging holes to China. By 4 p.m. I can tell that we're all going to look like lobsters tomorrow ... especially me. I feel stupid for not putting sunblock all over myself. Usually my skin is a little crispy but not well done if I don't use sunblock the first day. When I went back to the campground to take a shower, I realized that I was beyond well done. I have not had a sunburn this bad since I was in sixth grade and thought my ears were going to fall off from not wearing sunblock on a cloudy day.

We cooked some hot dogs on the grill and I went to bed around 8:30 p.m. but didn't fall asleep until later because the backs of my legs were throbbing.

Wednesday March 21, 8:30 a.m.

I wake up to the sound of giggling at the picnic table as bottles of Red Stripe and Corona are being popped open to go with morning breakfast. I am glad that I made two dozen banana crunch muffins to survive on for my breakfasts so I wouldn't have to mess with eggs. Racheal, one of my friends in car number two, also provided a Sam's sized box of chewy granola bars to feed our tummies.

Party opted to sleep tent-free under the stars and woke up in the middle of the night to a raccoon taking a peek into our cooler. He proceeded to yell at it while it ran away with his string cheese.

I decided to be completely covered today because my skin is burned so badly from yesterday that it hurt just to apply sunblock.

March 21, 11 a.m. -- 4 p.m.

A lady in her mid-50s named Eva came to our campsite last night and this morning to "hang out with a younger crowd." She and her boyfriend Dave are on their way back to upstate New York from leading a canoe trip throughout Florida and have been paddling for about two weeks straight. We chatted for a few hours on their beach blanket while they fed us cheese, roasted red peppers and crackers.

Dave, we come to find out, is the owner of St. Regis Canoe Outfitters based in the Adirondacks and is one of the top guides in the region. According to Eva, he was also named in several magazines in the '70s for his rock climbing skills. Although I could not find out any information about the rock climbing on the Internet when I got home, I did find out, in an article in the New York Times, that Dave (last name Cilley) helped develop some of the trails and maps throughout the Adirondacks. It just so happens that my friend Kurt, who was in car number two, is looking for an outdoor recreation internship, so he exchanged info with Dave.

There were lots of jellyfish washed up on the beach today so we had to watch our step. Some were clear and looked like The Blob and some were bright blue and purple and reminded me of little aliens. For the rest of the day I tossed a Frisbee, drank Nalgene-made margaritas and watched fishermen and -women pull fish and crabs from the surf.

March 21, 6 p.m.

After showering, I attempted to make chicken on the grill as the coals kept blowing out ... it took an hour longer than expected and my chicken was dry and chewy but the potatoes in foil were excellent. Jon Boy said the chicken was good, but he'll eat anything cooked any way ... I guess I'm just picky when it comes to food.

We started a fire in the grill with wood because there was no fire pit and I roasted some marshmallows. Jim Beam and cokes and margaritas are flowing 'round the fire. Everyone is warm and happy.

Our friends Paul and Alexis arrive around 10 p.m. and a spot is open on the other side of our site so they pull in, set up camp and start drinking. People begin to pass out around 11-ish and a few of us decide to take a night stroll on the ocean. Racheal, Alexis and I spot something glowing in the water and we think it's just the alcohol until a florescent-lighted jellyfish washes up on shore. I thought things like that only happened in movies like "The Life Aquatic." I guess I was wrong.

Thursday March 22, sometime in the morning...

I never knew that you could cook biscuits on the grill until today. And they were pretty tasty. Paul cooked some up along with eggs and fresh fruit. He said the trick is to get the really cheap ones because they cook better on a grill. I'll have to remember that next time I camp.

My burn is already healing, thank God for cocoa butter, but these red welts are starting to pop up all over my toes. The culprit: fire ants. These little guys love to bite and I guess my toes looked scrumptious in the morning light.

Yesterday we saw a plane flying by advertising a concert in nearby Orange Beach that consisted of none other than ... Spin Doctors, Sister Hazel and Better Than Ezra. Ha ha! Good ol' nineties one hit wonders. A few of us wanted to do something besides sit at the campground tonight so we decided we're going to go just for shits and giggles. I made a vow to myself that I would have to be extremely intoxicated before I went to the show because there is no way I would admit to my friends back home that I went to this concert sober.

March 22, noonish

Party Nate and Jon Boy decided to buy speedos to wear on the beach along with animal hats and a beer bong. Wow, how typically Spring Break of them. As we got to the beach, I was trying to walk away from them because of the ridiculousness, but couldn't help laughing at how silly they looked.

Paul brought a horseshoe set to the beach which was great entertainment along with Racheal, who decided to tie a bag of wine to her wrist until it was finished. Needless to say, she never finished the big bladder and her head immediately hit the pillow when we got back to the campground.

Plans are in the making to go to Pensacola tomorrow, but not for sure. We are definitely going out for some seafood tomorrow night because it is our last here.

March 22, 8:52 p.m.

Ah yes, my friends actually dragged me to this flashback from the nineties. Getting intoxicated before the show didn't happen because I had to drive so I am stone sober. The venue is open and airy, but the sound is vibrating off the bleacher seats. I will admit, I listened to these bands back in the day, but only on the radio. I never owned any of their CDs and I think I was in fourth grade, when my music taste was not fully developed yet. I didn't even know these bands still existed or even had a following ... but apparently, in Alabama, they're still popular. I am obviously extremely bored because I am writing during the concert. Usually my eyes would be onstage.

Spin Doctors opened the show and they were actually pretty good. I remembered some tunes, I shook my booty ... a little. Sister Hazel was, as I expected, boring, horrible lyrics and just a little too poppy for me. Better Than Ezra, who headlined the show (??) was enough for me and a few others, so we left two songs into their set.

I was curious to see if any of these bands had come up with a new sound and what they sounded like to me now that I'm older, but I quickly realized why they were one-hit wonders. Some people do still like them, obviously because there was a crowd, I guess it just wasn't my scene. It was an interesting flashback.

Friday March 23, 9:30 a.m.

It's our last day here and we decided not to go to Pensacola because we wanted to get as much beach in as possible. Today is my day to splurge with money, so Party, Jon Boy, Racheal and I went to Waffle House for a big greasy breakfast of hashbrowns, bacon, eggs and toast. After that we checked out a few of the local shops for some souvenirs.

March 23, noon

We came back and everyone was trying out Jon Boy's new beer bong. I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty drunken day at the beach. Jon Boy decided he wants a picture of every single one of us doing a beer bong and he is summoning me as we speak. So I guess I'd better go take one.

(After beer bong)

I opted for a screwdriver instead of beer because all that was available was Milwaukee's Best, which makes me want to throw up just smelling it and chugging beer has never been one of my strengths. Five minutes later, I'm already buzzed.

When we got to the beach, Yuko, my roommate Tetsu's girlfriend who's visiting from Japan, was definitely the champion beer bonger. As tiny as she is, she chugged beer with grace and ease. I was thoroughly impressed.

My favorite observation of the day was Shannon swimming through the waves with the little trunk of her elephant hat sticking up out of the water.

March 23, 6 p.m.

We got pretty drunk, as I expected, and came back to the campsite to sober up and shower before we went out to eat. We chose a place called Live Bait that had seafood and live music. Shannon and I shared a meal which consisted of blackened gator, fried fish, oysters and stuffed crab. All of that also came with seafood gumbo, fries and hush puppies ... yummy! The food was good, but I felt a little nauseous afterward. Probably because my meals for the past few days consisted of muffins, hot dogs and beer. We didn't stay for the live music because we were all exhausted from a day or, should I say, week of drinking. I passed out in my sandy tent immediately after dinner.

Saturday March 24, 7 a.m.

Paul and Alexis decided to stay a few extra days since they came later than all of us. So, we packed up our tents and bags and said goodbye at about 8:30 a.m. None of us wanted to leave, and we even considered buying a tiny house on the beach together and never coming back. But we had to face reality and come to grips with the fact that between all of our broke college asses, we wouldn't even be able to afford a shack.

I'm a little well done on the skin, my toes are covered in fire ant bites and my back is tight from sleeping on the ground for four nights but that doesn't even put a damper on my mellow mood. I'm refreshed, relaxed and ready for anything.

Spring Break Pictures