Seeking gainful employment and the working life

So it's summer now and the time for millions of teenagers across the country to get a job has come. That's why I've been diligently filling out several applications so that I too can become a part of the working world.

I've had my fair share of jobs before. First there was the local grocery store, where I think every person in Oran has worked at least a day.

Then there was Target, which was the job in which I slowly began hating the human race due to their inability to put anything back where it belonged. I had to quit that job simply because I had no life outside of sleeping and Target.

I've been without a job for a while, and I'm sick of my friends asking me where I work.

My response is always, "Well, I write for the paper sometimes."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," they say. "I work in a factory and build stuff."

That's when they show me the burns on their arms and where they dropped a trailer on their foot.

I tell them of the hardships I have to endure as an occasional columnist, like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and eye strain. Sitting at a computer is pretty harsh.

Luckily I had a job interview recently and it went well. Then I had to listen to automated voices on the telephone ask me questions where I had to press 1 for yes and 3 for no.

"Have you done things in the past two years that you can't explain?" the robot man asked me.

I sat in silence while I pondered the past two years of my life.

"Have you done things in the past two years that you can't explain?" the robot man asked again (although he sounded a little more agitated).

"Three!" I pressed. "Three!"

"Would you like to be an on-air TV news anchorman?" a robot woman pleasantly asked.

"Hmm, that might be fun and interesting," I thought. "Sure."

These random questions went on for almost half an hour. At the end I felt like I had just been through a harsh therapy session.

"Thanks for taking the time to do that," the interviewer said, "I guess I'll um, just give you a call in a couple of days then. Is that all right?"

"One," I replied as I walked out the door in a hypnotic state.

Sam DeReign is a graduate of Oran High School and attends Southeast Missouri State University. Contact him at sdereign@semissourian. com