Ridding yourself of the past to live in the present

Louise was living in grand style. She was happily married and had grandchildren and other family and friends who loved her. She had enough money, a nice home and plenty with which to occupy herself. Yet, she seemed to be carrying a heavy weight. She couldn't feel free to enjoy her life fully.

Louise thought of one special relative she had wounded with her words. She remembered an argument with her sister, Alice. Louise and her sister were at her cousin's house, playing a game. Louise had a stronger personality than Alice, so while arguing, she told Alice, "just leave." She was surprised when Alice took her seriously. Louise's parents later reprimanded her, telling her Alice came home crying. Louise pretended the incident didn't bother her, but she thinks of it still.

"Oh, if I could take back what I said," she laments. But she can't. Alice is now deceased. Louise still carries the scars, because she hasn't forgiven herself. We are taught to forgive others, but seldom do we extend the action to ourselves. And it is an action and choice we make. Carrying it with you stunts your growth emotionally and steals your energy from accomplishing anything worthwhile.

Vow to change your behavior and let it go.

Perhaps you're a businessman who suddenly had the insight you've always been a great provider for your family. But even though you were generous with everyone, you realized you had never genuinely filled the role of husband and father, brother or son. One morning after arriving home from a business trip the night before, you rise from bed early so you can sneak in some quiet time and read the paper. Buddies are picking you up for the usual golf game.

But wait, you hear footsteps! "I hope the boys aren't getting up so early," you think. You've forgotten it is Father's Day. "Hi, dad," say the voices behind you. Your two sons hand you a self-made Father's Day card. They continue to talk. You hear the toot of a car horn outside the garage door.

You suddenly aren't listening. You wave the guys on. You're in deep thought. You're in a trance. You remember the few times you've been able to see your sons in their school activities and the absentee husband you've been. At that moment, your life changes. You tell your boss at your lucrative-paying job you are quitting to become a writer. People think you're crazy, but you aren't. You want a meaningful and fulfilling life. (This story is by author Og Mandino in "The Choice.")

Mandino left the lucrative job that had provided self-esteem and security to pursue a better life doing what he loved most. He became successful in his new vocation, but if he had not, I wager he would have kept trying. He realized the money and possessions were not worth the neglect he had imposed on his family. He began living in a now of his own making.

Both scenarios address different circumstances, but both aim toward the same goal. You must forgive yourself, change and apply the energy to what's important to you now. Scripture recommends the principle in Philippians 3:13-14, "Forgetting what's behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me."

What are you holding onto that's keeping you from living freely in the now and beyond?