Placing undue worth on being left out or unsuccessful

Events and interactions attain unrealistic proportions when you're not included!

"Where is John's birthday party going to be held?" asked Janice. "If I send a card, will you give it to him?" she said. "Yes, I will," I told her. I felt sorry for her.

Janice had recently broken up with John, her boyfriend, but she still loved him. Or shall I say, he dissolved the relationship. The family attended John's party, which was held at a local restaurant.

The party was no big deal. It was just a gathering of family to celebrate. Everybody met at a restaurant, talked, presented gifts and conducted the usual ceremonial gestures you do at a birthday party. However, I could tell Janice was hurting because she had not been included. After the party, everybody went their separate ways. But to Janice, she had missed a huge affair.

I tried to downplay the event, but she still kept asking about it. Her reaction to being left out of the affair caused me, myself, to do some inner probing. Isn't her sadness at not being a part of something a typical one? It's like when you're not invited to the prom. You visualize all sorts of goodies you've missed.

Maybe your friends have a get-together, and you're excluded. You're angry, upset, feel rejected and all kinds of emotions rear their ugly heads.

Perhaps the event was actually of little consequence. It was a quick, thrown-together barbecue, and you were, perhaps, forgotten about. It could have all been unintentional. Yet you fretted, stewed and got yourself all worked up. Your self-esteem suffered. You allowed yourself to feel unimportant, and you attributed all kinds of disproportionate flaws to yourself.

You placed too much value on a simple event or rejection. You blew it all out of proportion and allowed it to take you down. We all have been victims of useless thoughts of being unpopular, as a young person, and as a failure, as an adult. We've placed undue worth on being left out of something or not succeeding at a venture.

I have a bookmark that I give out during most of my speaking engagements. It was written by Sri Vishwanth and reads, "No event or person is so important that you should allow them to destroy your peace of mind." I recite the line on the bookmark whenever I'm feeling dejected or sad. I ask myself, "What is causing my feelings of sadness? Is it a person or event?" Then I realize it's what I think about myself that matters and that "My happiness lies within me."

Just as in the example of Janice and her exclusion from the birthday party, the party was of little significance in the long-term scheme of life. It didn't last long, and then everybody went on about their business. She built the party up in her mind until it assumed a humongous size and became more than it really was. She placed rejection, being unloved, excluded, unimportant and worthless into not being invited to her ex-boyfriend's birthday celebration. One single event caused an enormous amount of misery to Janice. If she could have realized how small it was in the long term, she could have spared herself all the grief she brought on.

Everybody wants to be included, loved, feel worthwhile and successful in their own eyes.

Romans 8:31 assuages those feelings of fear, loneliness and being down and out when the scripture says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" It doesn't really matter. Does it?

When you're a part of affairs, events or other occasions or honor-laden recognitions, you enjoy them, but they don't assume as large a place in your mind as when you're on the outside looking in. When you've been rejected, it fills your thoughts. When this happens to you, fill your mind, instead, with, "Casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you" [1 Peter 5: 7] and love yourself.