Marriage, though difficult, is a good thing

This past week my wife and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

Despite research that identifies marriage is on the decline and those who choose to marry do so at a later age in life than in years past, the wisdom found in Proverbs 18:22, which says, "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and received favor from the Lord" rings true.

Marriage is a good thing.

Despite my hardheadedness, I have learned a few things about marriage.

While my wife and I were engaged, couples shared marriage is hard.

They could not identify the source of the difficulty but would speak rapidly and passionately to the challenges of marriage, then politely smile and wish us good luck.

Of course, being young, in love and out to conquer the world, we both assumed they just did not know what they were talking about. It might be hard for them, but it would not be for us.

We were wrong.

Marriage is hard work. Any time you take two people -- even though they share the same core values -- and put them together, they are going to have different ways of looking at life.

Then they have to speak to each other.

A rational, intelligent and logical wife must speak, be heard and understood to a rational, intelligent and logical husband.

He in turn must do the same.

You would think two people who have been using words for the majority of their lives would be able to communicate with each other in a way that is understood.

You could think this and be completely wrong.

Despite using the same words, men and women have a language barrier.

As a man, I interpret what she says differently, and she does the same with me.

That does not make one better than the other; it just makes us different.

Notwithstanding all the challenges, marriage is more rewarding than I ever thought it would be.

The hard work of marriage is, in fact, the source of the treasure.

Years of pursuit, chasing dreams, living nightmares and receiving the blessings of God that come through obedience reveal new riches and allude to jewels yet to be discovered.

My wife is not the same person I married, nor am I the same person she married.

That is part of what makes marriage so hard and so good -- so worth seeking and fighting for.