Live life within yourself

"You make yourself happy." That statement seems beat to death, sometimes. If you really think about it, though, you will realize how much you control how things turn out.

An acquaintance, Maggie, was an unpredictable person. At least, she seemed to be. She lived in a residence where all her needs were met, in grand style. Regardless, you never knew how your visits would turn out, and if you expected to be lifted up, you better forget it, sometimes.

Maggie could be very pleasant and cheerful. Another time, she would be negative and grumpy. You tried to avoid entering into testy conversations, then. When Maggie is grouchy, after becoming more familiar with her, you learn to just chalk it up to the state of her thoughts that day. It depends on how she's choosing to look at life that day. Another time she is very charming and great company. What causes the shifts in her personality?

To begin with, Maggie isn't the only person who reacts in this fashion. Many people are negative and see a glass as half empty rather than half full. In their mind, their life has been worse than that of anyone else. However, in the judgment of others, who know them well, they are very fortunate. Such individuals often have enough material possessions to fill their need, such as a beautiful place to live, people who love them and other diversions. They merely haven't learned to control their thoughts and recognize them for what they are: thoughts.

I encountered Maggie recently. During our conversation, she remarked, "Well, how can I be happy? I don't have anything to be happy about."

I gasped, and momentarily caught my breath. She receives much attention and company. Someone frequently takes her shopping and to various other destinations and events.

Happiness does not depend on other people or outside circumstances. I proceeded to point out reasons she should be happy. She has few problems, except what she manufactures within. All her needs are satisfied, but she fails to look for the good.

Author Dr. Richard Carlson, Ph.D., says in his book, "You can be happy no matter what," and says "if you are experiencing anything other than contentment than comes from understanding yourself, you may want to ask yourself some questions." In other words, try to understand why you think the way you do.

You need to know if what you're feeling is a result of something external or if you're in a low mood. How you feel is caused by your outlook. Wait for it to change. Are you choosing the road toward happiness, such as thinking positive and working toward contentment, or thinking negatively and following like actions? Carlson says, "Follow your happy feelings, not the unhappy ones. Don't react to other people's low moods. People often say and do things they would normally not do or say, so don't take their attitudes personally."

Carlson offers other hints for happiness, such as "Do not fight a war in your own head. Don't go over and over an argument or disagreement you've had with someone. Don't allow what's happened in the past to keep you from enjoying life now. It's gone and you can't change it or bring it back. When you're in a state of stress, ease up and take a break. Don't push ahead at a rapid pace to get the job done."

If you're feeling out of sorts, unhappy and discontented, realize that "Happiness is a feeling we already possess. We just need to tap into it at will. Happiness is not something that is dependent on what happens or has happened. It's within you, now. You can be happy right here, and right now." Life is not outside you, instead, it's inside, where you can grasp happiness anytime you choose. Philippians says, "Be careful for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God."