Learning to speak the language of a happy toddler

NEW YORK -- It makes sense that happy toddlers usually have happy parents.

Such familial bliss isn't as hard to achieve as one might think, says Dr. Harvey Karp, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the UCLA School of Medicine.

In the new book and companion DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block" (Bantam), Karp, who also has a private practice in Santa Monica, Calif., stresses communication, and specifically communication at a level that 1- to 4-year-olds can understand.

"A parent's job isn't so much to be the boss or buddy of the toddlers, but to be an ambassador -- which means you have to learn the language of the people you're working with," says Karp during a telephone interview.

"Speaking toddler-ese will make kids feel understood."

The four "ingredients" of "toddler-ese," according to Karp, are short phrases, repetition, correct tone of voice, and facial expressions and body gestures. Parents basically should mirror how their young children communicate -- just adding the words that they would use if they knew them, Karp says.

This technique can prove especially effective for parents looking to head off temper tantrums, he adds. Of course, there is no cure-all for temper tantrums, so Karp also offers a Plan B and C.

If your child can't -- or won't -- stop crying, offer a hug. Sometimes a physical gesture helps release anger.

Also, try to solve the broader problem if you can. Karp suggests offering a snack, rest or a different toy to a child who might be acting up out of boredom.

If all else fails, walk away for a minute. This will remove the spotlight from children and allow them to calm down .