Learning from the differences of others

"I just don't understand him," Louise remarked to her neighbor. "He has nothing and he doesn't seem to care." This was a conversation, between Louise and Dana, about Louise's son, Jake. Jake was divorced and he had allowed his former wife to keep most of their possessions.

Jake now has a woman-friend of whom he is quite fond. The girl is from a Third World country, and Jake seems extremely happy with Wanda. Various people maintain diverse ideas of what constitutes success and happiness. Wanda, being from another culture, is content with living an ordinary life. She notices and enjoys what we take for granted. She is accustomed to doing without all the modern conveniences we enjoy in the United States. Although the people living in her country now enjoy modern facilities, she remembers when they were without.

However, she says she doesn't like large houses. She isn't used to them. Her family farms, and they are joyful and happy. Her religion teaches that, in her words, if you are good to other people and you're nice to them you'll receive the same in return. When someone offends you, return goodwill to them. In other words, you don't return evil for evil.

Does that not sound familiar to Christianity? Although Wanda does not claim Christianity, she truly lives what Jesus taught. Scripture teaches that "You reap what you sow," and says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Jesus emphasized that we not strive for material riches over spiritual values. Matthew: 19-20.

Louise approached Jake, concerning the situation that he now seemed unconcerned about his lack of possessions. Yet, he and his friend are content with their lifestyle and they are delightful to be around. Both are sweet and will do anything possible to show they care and help those who need it. Neither talks negatively about those who treat them disrespectfully. Jake and Wanda say they believe in Karma. Christians do not refer to "reaping what you sow" as Karma, but that is their interpretation of it, and, I'd say, a good one. Regardless of their religious or spiritual orientation, they seem to be living mostly as Jesus taught.

Does one absolutely need a large house filled with expensive furniture and to work 14-hour days to feel he's successful? Are you adamant about being the top achiever in every activity you participate in? Do you always have to be working because you can't be satisfied, otherwise?

I think we could all learn what's truly important from some of those who are considered less successful. Perhaps those people are the genuinely happy, confident and secure ones after all. They seem to have nothing to prove. Instead, they take time to smell the flowers and notice what's going on around them. We take little time to notice.

I have grown to love Wanda since I've known her. She enjoys feeding the ducks and squirrels. She takes delight in seeing the squirrels sit and wait for her to arrive with their food. She sits quietly without interrupting and listens while others talk. That is so unusual in my culture that I admire the trait. These are the ways of her background.

Before you judge someone and his way of interpreting what's important, what makes one successful or what makes one happy, realize that all people maintain diverse priorities. Try to understand their perspective. You may choose to reject it, but, you may also come to agree.

I've learned much from being around the couple. Having lived among the people in various countries has definitely changed Jake for the better. I applaud him for caring little to own excessive possessions he doesn't need. Less is truly more, and simplicity is one of the keys to genuine happiness. "Do not build up treasure on earth for rust and moths to consume, but build up treasures in heaven," Matthew 19-20.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.