Having human contact is vital to your well-being

Mr. Jones described himself as a loner. He liked to be by himself most of the time. He almost enjoyed being a recluse. Sometimes we'd all like some time by ourselves -- time to recuperate, relax and meditate. That sort of aloneness is a necessary part of living for most people.

Introverts and extraverts share different needs where sociability is concerned. There are numerous reasons for being around others. Some are necessary or they can be purely social. Nevertheless, you need people. Talk with someone who's recently lost a spouse or resides in an area where he knows no one. Loneliness follows.

I recently talked with a woman who lost her spouse some months ago. She took his presence for granted when he was alive but now she realizes how much it meant to have a companion. "It's not much fun having to do everything as a single." She has to seek ways to get out and be with other people.

Although you sometimes enjoy being by yourself to take a break from being on-call constantly, remember that even pets like companionship and dogs sometimes travel in packs. My dog wants to be with someone continuously. When the family leaves, she refuses to eat. She misses us, her playmates. Although dogs and pets aren't considered human, they still have life. Birds fly together and humans, most often, desire a companion.

Johnny and his family decided to stay home one Christmas to celebrate by themselves. The holiday, however, didn't bring the fulfillment he had expected. Although there was certainly less hubbub, he felt lonely. Johnny likes peace and quiet and positively dislikes a lot of commotion. In fact, he finds crowds stressful. However, after being alone at Christmas, he decided the busyness that occurred by being at family get-togethers brought more happiness than feeling isolated. His extended family had missed them as well. Introverts seem to draw energy and can rebuild their inner resources by having quiet time. However, extraverts derive energy by being around other people. Balance is the key. Too much or too little of anything fails to satisfy.

This summer has been one of the busiest I have encountered. My initial thoughts were, "How can I get through this?" I received much company who required lots of effort and time to entertain them -- to ensure they enjoyed their visit with us. Then, my husband and I made trips -- between the arrivals of different guests. The visitors were family members, and I cherished their presence for sure. I tried to make sure they had a good time so they would want to come again. They, too, were exhausted when they arrived back at their homes, but next year everybody will be raring to be together again.

Regardless of how occupied you are, it's important you put your interests on hold for a while and take time for those you love. Nothing lasts forever, and although entertaining and visiting may be stressful, it's worth your trouble.

Many seek to contain all their recreational resources within their home. They call it, "putting family first." I have televisions, treadmills, exercise bikes and other such equipment at my house. Regardless, I still like to interact with others outside my family. I will work out more efficiently if I go to a gym where I see other people. I may not know who they are, but they are there. We at least smile and say, "Hi." I don't feel that I'm any less family-oriented because I crave an amount of outside social contact. We need others. 1 Corinthians 12:21 says "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you.'" and Psalms 142:4 recognizes loneliness. "Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life." Man was created to be a social being, so I hope you'll find time to interact with other people.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.