Getting past the plague of loneliness

One of the most prevalent causes of unhappiness and feelings of rejection is loneliness. It plagues most people, at least partially, from infancy all the way through your adulthood into old age. Even wildlife fall prey to the condition

"I never get lonely," you may say. Perhaps there are a few who can avoid the malady, since some are loners by nature; however, even they have ways of coping. Most of you will experience loneliness at one time or another.

It can occur when we're by ourselves, but it can also appear when we're surrounded by people. In fact, it's most often when we have people around us or, especially in the midst of a crowd, that we're most affected.

You would think that in the United States people would never become lonely. We have the diversions of television, Internet, and all kinds of social media at our disposal, constantly. There are all kinds of entertainment available such as concerts, sports activities and other offerings. Yet we're a nation filled with many lonely people.

The presence of all the technology, including television, is a major cause of loneliness. That doesn't make sense, does it? But we fail to reach out to human beings, in person, to assuage our pangs of loneliness. Often just a simple hello and a smile from someone else can fill the gap. Hearing our name called by someone else, a friend or acquaintance is super important. Everybody likes to hear the sound of his own name. It seems to give him feelings of worth.

Nevertheless, all the technology is a blessing from God, too, if it is used and taken in the right context--one that still leaves room for REAL human contact.

Mother Teresa, whom you would think never became lonely since she had such an abundance of faith, fell victim to loneliness. According to a Christopher News Note, "she was being invited into a Dark Night of the Soul for the purpose of achieving a more perfect union with God. "'There, she said she suffered greatly and felt separated from God.' It was when she eventually surrendered to God, in the face of that loneliness, which led her into a life of service to others. She saw God in everyone."

We have to find a great amount of companionship within ourselves, but, also, you need to be a part of some kind of community. Those who say they need no one are fooling themselves. Even Jesus traveled with a group. He also kept in contact with His family and friends. He felt extreme loneliness when the disciples went to sleep rather than watch with him, the night before they came to crucify him.

Loneliness is a part of the human condition. The point is that you have to do something about it. You can't take it personally. You can't always wait for someone else to come to you, unless you're ill or disabled or where you can't travel. If no one calls you or invites you to an event, why not call them or invite them to lunch?

Sometimes, when your children do not come as often as you'd like, call them or realize they have family obligations of their own, now, and you must put a life together for yourself.

I talked with a woman after her mother, with whom she lived, died. She said, "At first I was lonely, but then I became involved in my church." That kept her busy, along with her job. She began attending the ladies meetings and attained friends there. That solved her problem of loneliness.

Having the feeling that God is always with you is certainly a boost to your spirits when you're feeling blue and as if you're all alone. With an amount of prayer, God will always come to your rescue and lift your spirits.

I, too, can feel lonely, even with people all around me. Yet, it is true that sunshine always follows behind that darkness.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction. Her blog, "Chocolate for the Soul: Wisdom for Life" may be accessed at semissourian.com. She is the author of the book, "Wisdom for the Journey."