'Did you read the book?'

With all of the recent excitement over the movie "Gone Girl" -- shot extensively in Cape Girardeau -- people have been in conversation.

"Who did you see (in the movie) that you knew?

"Where did the busy nightscape come from as Ben Affleck's car crossed the Emerson Bridge?" East Cape is pretty dark at night, you know.

And then the inevitable: "Did you read the book?"

Yes, I did read it. Apparently a lot of people have done the same. The book was No. 1 on the New York Times hardcover fiction list for eight weeks. By the end of its first year of publication, the Gillian Flynn novel surpassed two million in sales in both the print and digital editions. I read the book on my wife's Nook. The book is better than the film but that's no surprise; the book is always superior.

Thinking about the Flynn novel got me pondering the most important books I've read in my lifetime. In no particular order, here are the books, all nonfiction, all related to faith, that have influenced my life and living the most:

• Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue, by the late Rabbi Edwin Friedman. It's a dense read and slow-going but for someone in the pastoral office, it's been well worth my time. The author says it is vital to understand how individuals exist within families before offering any kind of helpful counseling. Trying a "cure," in other words, apart from getting a clear bead on his or her family situation, is as misdirected and doomed to failure as a transplanted kidney is when placed into a body with unbalanced chemistry. The new organ will be destroyed just as surely as the old one. Friedman gives a helpful example: getting "cold feet" before a wedding. In every case in the rabbi's experience of a groom deciding to walk away from the nuptials, the reason had to do with the man being in the position of "standard bearer" of his family, the one -- usually the oldest male --who is charged with carrying on the family name. It's too much pressure, Friedman says, and triggers the fight-or-flight reaction.

I can't tell you how helpful this book has been in ministry. You cannot divorce a person from his or her family of origin -- not if you want to help.

• The Gospel of John in the New Testament. The last of the canonical gospels is the one Billy Graham recommends that new Christians read first, before anything else. I like John chapter 10, in particular, because there are so many texts that resonate with my spirit:

"I come that you might have life and have it to the full." (John 10:10) This verse tells me God is

interested in not only in my eternal future, but also the life I'm living now.

"I have other sheep not of this sheepfold. I must bring them also, so that there will be one flock and one shepherd." (John 10:16) This verse reminds me God is not only interested in Christians; God is interested in everybody.

"I and the Father are one." (John 10:30) Jesus is God made flesh, not merely the best example of a human being.

• "When All You've Wanted Isn't Enough: The Search For a Life That Matters," by Rabbi Harold Kushner. This book helped me decide to go into full-time ministry. From the first page I'm hooked: "Watch how the average person lives his life. See where he really invests his time and energy, and he will give away the fact that he does not really live by what he says he believes."

Two of the books were written by rabbis and all were penned by Jews. I wonder what that says about me. Jesus was a Jew, so I'll be content with that. What books resonate with your spirit?