Coming for chaos; staying for fellowship

The first rule of fight club is to have fun and be yourself.

Last Tuesday I was lying on my back trying to gauge the distance between myself and the trash can, deciding whether I could inch closer in case I threw up. A week before I was afraid to take off my N95 mask, but in those last five minutes I had the spit and sweat of several strangers fall into my unprotected face, eyes and mouth. I became so exhausted sparring (and losing) at John Dudley's Carpe Momentum Jiu Jitsu on Sprigg Street that I retreated to the locker room. As if changing clothes would get my wind back, I took off my sparring belt, robe and thick-fabric pants. I had gotten my street pants halfway back up when the nausea laid me out, and I found myself with a cold floor on my back, pants still half off, staring at the ceiling, taking deep breaths and trying not to vomit.

John D. Dudley is owner and chief instructor at Carpe Momentum Jiu Jitsu on Sprigg Street in Cape Girardeau. Except for a few gray hairs that betray him, grandpa Dudley doesn't look much older than the young men he trains. At the time I attended, there were no women present. I accepted the challenge when Dudley asked me to spar with him and used all the undisciplined brute force at my disposal. Yet all the strength I could muster got me nowhere. Instead of resisting my efforts with his own, Dudley constantly rearranged himself, flowing from position to position, his body oddly relaxed and yielding. He folded me like origami and beat me with technique rather than strength.

John and his students let me completely exhaust myself sparring with them. As I grunted and strained they remained on their backs, almost serene, biding their time. The first time John put me in a choke I question why he calls Jiu Jitsu "the gentle art." I can still remember the wet (and somehow comical) gagging sound of my throat closing. Tapping out instantly relieved the brutality, and I found myself eager to try again, swept up in the thrill of combat.

At Carpe Momentum, students spend very little time on their feet. Although some students stood wiry and long-legged at over six feet tall, once they were down are down on the mat height differences dissolved in a tangled mass of interlocked limbs.

John Dudley, owner of Carpe Momentum Jiu Jitsu in Cape Girardeau, spars with a student.Michael Leifer

"Size and strength matter," Dudley told me, "anyone who tells you it doesn't is wrong." But they aren't everything, he adds. They're certainly not the only determining factors in "the gentle art" of Jiu Jitsu. Karate-style martial arts focus on standing strikes, but real fights usually end up on the ground where grappling is king. Good technique, Dudley said, allows smaller fighters to neutralize bigger and stronger opponents.

But Jiu Jitsu isn't just about fighting. Dudley also said it keeps him young.

"I'm a grandpa, and it makes me feel very good to hold my own against guys at their physical peak."

Dudley, who has had three knee surgeries, regularly defeats men half his age who are stronger and brimming with testosterone. For his success, Dudley thanked a positive attitude, one built of a strong mindset. "Most people are afraid of failure, of taking risks and losing, but here you're losing all the time. You're tapping out all the time. You're acknowledging loss all the time," he explained. "I acutely remember all my losses and exactly why they happened. I don't remember my wins like that. You get better the more you acutely remember your losses...everyone here is a humble individual. There's no room for cockiness. You will be choked. You will be submitted. You will be caught in positions where you must choose between tapping out or allowing your bone to break."

Back in the locker room, I remember a sense of relief as my breath returned and nausea faded like the closing score of an epic film. My body, I guessed, wasn't accustomed to such exertion. Even though Dudley has had seen students puke before, I was glad to avoid it. Finishing getting dressed and grateful no one saw me I stepped back out on the mat. It was much quieter. Students had stopped grappling and were hanging riding the afterglow of combat, a rush of endorphins; sweaty, smiling faces experiencing one of nature's oldest highs. When I asked one of the students why he puts himself through this he replies without hestitation, "Because I enjoy it."

Momentum and leverage are incredibly important in Jiu Jitsu, according to John Dudley.Michael Leifer

Dudley, glancing in the direction of his students, said, "Look at them. They're sitting around, they're laughing, they're talking. A moment ago, these guys were thinking about nothing but surviving. On the mat they're not thinking about their work. They're not thinking about their stress. They are completely concentrated. They are completely in this moment, right now. That feeling is so highly sought after. That feeling itself is so addictive. If this wasn't fun, I wouldn't be doing it."

The experience reminds me of church but Dudley wasn't completely on board with that comparison.

"It's not a religion," he corrected. "But I guess the community aspect is like a church. The support you receive from your teammates and their sense of interest in your success is second to none. Jiu Jitsu is why they come in the door but the community is why they stay. My students want nothing else but to help each other improve. That makes them an awesome group of people to be around."