Building on a good thing: Part 1

This June, my wife and I will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary. We dated for three years before our wedding. It amazes me to think we have known each other for nearly a quarter of a century. I am truly blessed in many ways.

Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." These words of wisdom are directed toward men to encourage them toward marriage by highlighting the blessings of marriage. Interestingly, modern researchers continue to observe the benefits marriage has for men, especially when they marry young.

Marriage, while a gift, requires work. Thinking about February and Valentine's Day in this two-part opinion piece, I want to share four ways to keep this good thing of marriage going.

L -- Look over each other's faults. When you are first dating and in the early years of marriage, everything is perfect. She's perfect, everything she does is perfect and, what is even more unbelievable, she thinks you are perfect. Then reality sets in and you realize she is not perfect, and she knows you're not perfect.

Marriages that continue to grow are ones where forgiveness is abundant. Your spouse is going to disappoint you. They will not meet all of your expectations, nor should they be asked to. Love grows when you look over each other's faults.

O -- Open doors. I like holding the door open for my wife. I even open the door for my girls. I do not open the door because they cannot; I open the door because I can. Now, I do not practice this habit all the time, and rarely with the car (that is why key fobs were invented). But when I make the conscious effort to open that door for her and let her walk into the room first, each time it makes me remember how valuable she is.

The habit of holding doors open for others is a good practice to pick up. That single action physically reminds you that others matter, too. The habit does not say they cannot open the door or that they need someone in their life to care for them. It says you matter, whoever you are. Hold the door open not because they cannot, but because you can.

Ruth Bell Graham has said, "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Looking over each other's faults and taking steps to think and express more of the other are two of many ways to build on a good thing.

Part two will finish this L.O.V.E. acronym.