Always learning

By Mia Pohlman

My friend Julie is a new mom who gave birth to her daughter Lucy six months ago. Recently while talking with Julie, she told me about how organically her daughter learns new things. Lucy doesn't try to learn things; she learns them naturally, when it's time for her to do so.

Julie also marveled at how patient Lucy is with herself while she learns these new things. She doesn't get frustrated with herself; if she reaches for a toy that's out of her reach, she trusts that someone will give it to her if it will be good for her.

I've been thinking a lot about this. Oftentimes it's easy to get frustrated with myself when I feel like I already should have learned something or already have something I want. I get frustrated when I let myself down by not being true to who I am or when I miss an opportunity to extend God's love to someone. Sometimes it's hard to let it go.

In this, though, is a reminder of a basic, foundational truth: I am a human, not God, which means I don't automatically know everything, and sometimes I mess up. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness'" (2 Corinthians 12:9). I need to be honest with myself and God about my frustrations and the things I've messed up on, and then realize I've always been standing in God's love. I can't save myself -- only Jesus can.

A few summers ago at a restaurant where I worked, one of the cooks always repeated to me his favorite definition of the word "insanity": doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. I think this sentiment is true, and it gives me hope -- all I have to do is make a different decision the next time to keep learning, to live more fully into all God has called me to.

When I do or say things that aren't true to who God has created me to be, it's part of the learning process that is life, an opportunity for me to know myself and what is important to me more fully, and to know God's love and grace more deeply. Through it, I can know that the next time I'm presented with a similar situation, I'll do something differently. God gives grace, commitment and perseverance to repentant hearts.

Much like the baby whose birth we'll remember and celebrate in a few weeks, hearing about all that Lucy teaches my friend Julie teaches me that I am always learning, even if I can't see the results of it yet. Lucy reminds me that life is a process and, regardless of my own capabilities, I can have faith in the one who is always providing good for me, and thus move forward to learn new things.