A helping hand: Nursing home volunteers find joy serving others

Two people. Two nursing homes. The same satisfaction. Cape Girardeau residents Barbara Yallaly and John Marshall give their time to senior citizens -- Yallaly to residents of the Missouri Veterans Home and Marshall to those who live at the Lutheran Home. Marshall calls it "finding Christ in other people."

"It makes you feel good that you can volunteer your time in so many ways," Yallaly said.

"Service to others," added Marshall. "That's what life is all about."

Yallaly retired after 30 years with a telephone company. Marshall retired from the Division of Family Services so he could feed the sick and take care of the lowest functioning at the Lutheran Home, he said. He doesn't know why he, a Catholic, chose the Lutheran Home. He says he was led there. He came to volunteer, and parlayed his service into a job.

Volunteer Barbara Yallaly stopped to talk to Bill Walker, a resident of the Missouri Veterans Home in Cape Girardeau.

"We weren't looking for someone at the time," said Susan Essner, director of social services. "He's motivated to do what he can do to make life for the residents better."

The Missouri Veterans Home was looking for a leader. American Legion auxiliaries typically lead volunteer activities in the nation's veterans homes, and the auxiliary district tapped Yallaly to head the effort when the local home opened. Since then, she and her group have amassed 10,000 volunteer hours, according to Ken Lipps, public relations director at the veterans home.

One of her biggest supporters is the Jackson American Legion Post 158, Lipps said. "They give her $1,500 every year to use in the Christmas gift program."

It doesn't take much to bring a little joy into people's lives. When she found that one of the veterans enjoyed NASCAR, she picked up some racing items to award him when he won at bingo. She makes sure she knows every resident by name. When she buys toiletries from money the auxiliaries raise she makes sure to buy brands the veterans prefer. Every Christmas season she shops for the veterans so they have something to give to a wife or son or daughter. She makes the extra effort to honor those who served their country.

"The World War II veterans ... were so young when they went to service, and it's been so many years ago," she said.

Everett "Bud" Milligan, an Army veteran of the Korean War era, recalls enjoying himself when he went on a casino trip Yallaly organized for the veterans. Every veteran who went was given $5 with which to gamble. "I don't pretend to be a gambler," Milligan said. "I went for the trip."

He lost $20, but his bad luck has not dampened his appreciation for Yallaly's efforts with the American Legion Auxiliary. He enjoys the Christmas gift program and looks forward to participating again this year.

At the Lutheran Home, Marshall works with people whose speech and memories are fading from stroke, Alzheimer's or other disease. He'll chat with them and use pictures to jog their recollection of years gone by. He involves volunteers from the community who may do something as simple as cleaning the residents' eyeglasses. Essner said that since Marshall came to the Lutheran Home, the number of volunteers has at least doubled.

He gathers together people who send little notes to residents who otherwise would not get any mail. He brings in people to talk to a group of men he organized into a club and has organized a cadre of volunteers who come to visit and pray for the residents.

"We call it the 10 Minute Club," he said. "It only takes 10 minutes of the day. There is no concept of time in a nursing home."

He has also connected a resident with classrooms of children who send in their schoolwork for the resident to look at and comment on. The resident also agrees to pray for the children.

Martha Kassel, formerly of Perryville, Mo., read over the children's work last year and prayed for them daily.

"It reminded me of my school days," she said. "It was nice to see what the children are doing. I baby-sat one of them from the time he was 4 months old until he was 11 years old. He was just like one of my own."

"I'm looking for bonding," Marshall said. "And the people in the community get a different view of nursing home life."

Yallaly's latest project is overseeing a group of auxiliary members who make quilt blocks for comfort quilts given to families who have lost a son, brother or husband in the Iraq war. The 25 or so women who participate have pieced together more than 1,400 quilt blocks. Another group makes quilts out of the blocks.

Early lessons

Both Yallaly and Marshall say they learned the lesson of helping others early in life.

"I get my willingness to help other people by thinking about what my mother had done for people," Yallaly said.

Marshall dates his willingness to help the less fortunate to when he was 4 years old and his mother lay in a coma after surgery, not expected to live. A nun sat at his mother's bedside encouraging her to recover so she could take care of her children. He remembers when, after his father would take him to the barbershop, he would come back home and ask his mother to smell the tonic the barber used on his hair. After she was hospitalized, he would come to her bedside and say, "Mama, smell my hair."

After two months, his mother recovered and said she remembered who had been at her bedside. She also remembered smelling young John's hair.

"That started it," he said. "I just grew up that way."

Yallaly's brother was a deaf mute from birth, she said. Nine years ago he had a stroke that blinded him and made it impossible for him to communicate through sign language. When she had to put him in a nursing home, she visited daily to coax him into eating a little and to keep him company. He died earlier this year.

"Would I do it again?" she asks. "In a minute."

lredeffer@semissourian.com

335-6611, extension 160