Super Bowl non-event

I was not going to discuss today's subject out of fear of personal embarrassment. I have no desire to be labeled unmanly or un-American. But as the day draws closer, it's time for a confession. So here goes.

I couldn't care less who plays in -- much less wins -- Sunday's Super Bowl. There I said it.

Let me quickly point out that I am indeed a sports fan. I follow baseball like a hawk. I know more golfing statistics than is healthy. I can tell you how Tyler Hansbrough -- Poplar Bluff native -- is doing at North Carolina. Heck, I even follow monster truck races, for goodness sake. I wouldn't know a tennis racket if it hit me in the face but I still can tell you who is favored in the Australian Open.

But the Super Bowl is less than super to me. The only real excitement I have seen on any recent Super Bowl was a wardrobe malfunction a couple of years ago. Now that was worth watching!

Before I sat down to pen these few words, I had to confirm from our sports guys that it was Arizona and Pittsburgh in this Sunday's showdown. And if Kurt Warner had not played in St. Louis once upon a time, I doubt I could name one player on the field this Sunday.

If -- and that is highly in doubt -- I watch any of the game it will be for the commercials. National advertisers always roll out dazzling and funny new commercials during Super Bowl because of the massive audience. And I'll admit, the commercials are worth enduring the game.

Bundles of money will change hands on Sunday as the Super Bowl is the mecca for office pools and bar bets.

The Super Bowl is so much hype that it takes on iconic status. The Masters golf tournament -- much older -- is the Super Bowl of golf. Same for the World Series. Or the Stanley Cup. Obama's recent victory was the Super Bowl of elections, I guess. You get the drift.

When St. Louis had a professional football franchise, at least then I could follow with some passing interest. But now that their team is defunct, I don't have a dog in the fight.

Wait a second. Our sports guy just informed me that St. Louis still has a team. Go figure!

I admit, in the world of sports, few if any events rival the Super Bowl. In its relatively brief time, the Super Bowl has become the granddaddy of all sporting events. And despite a rotten economy, the game will still generate ample interest, wagers and hype.

Yet I remain unmoved. I find little artistry in 350-pound giants clashing heads. If I need a program to tell the players, then I'm not a fan, I'm just a spectator. And I find that boring.

I would watch reruns of some ancient western melodrama before I would watch the Super Bowl. All I would miss would be the commercials.

There is hope, however. Now that I have learned that St. Louis still has an NFL franchise, there's always next year, right? My sports guy says not to hold my breath.

But what does he know?