SPEAKOUT

Clinton is worse

THIS IS to the caller who said Slick Willie could never outdo Tricky Dicky. In my opinion, he already has. After all, Nixon was involved in covering up a break-in at Democratic headquarters. Slick Willie's best friend committed suicide. Plus there was Waco with all these young children and pregnant women who were gassed and burned up. And now he's sending young men to do what he wouldn't do: fight for the country. I just think it's ridiculous. Ol' Slick's already outdone Nixon. I'd like to invite the caller to go right on over. He can march in front of the tanks in Sarajevo and help pull them out of the mud puddles.

Community-minded

I'M CALLING in regard to the food baskets that were distributed by the Craftsmen's Union over the Christmas holiday. I think we're fortunate to have organizations in this city that are being run by people like Mr. Kelley who are really interested in the community and who give something back in this way. I think we're just really fortunate.

Offended reader

MIKE ROYKO'S Dec. 27 column is probably the second to the most ignorant and unjust insult to ever pass my path, basically the path of any active and educated citizen of this area. The only thing that tops that would be having Rush Limbaugh's mug on my license plate. If that ever happens, I swear my plate will come before my wedding vows. Why don't we just put a Ku Klux Klan's hood on it? Ask the blacks how they like that one. How about a swastika? Or according to Mike Royko, why don't we just put "Missouri -- home of the illiterate." I find offense in all of the above, especially to Rush Limbaugh. We are citizens of Missouri in the United States, not the state of Rush in Limbaugh country. Get over it, Cape Girardeau. There are a lot of people more worthy of such an honor. All of them are going to be too humble to put their likeness on a license plate.

Welfare idea

FOR THOSE people who want to take welfare away from the poor, I have a solution that would put a stop to most all need of welfare. Simply pay women higher wages comparable to what males are paid, and then those single women and single women with children who lack male income will not be suffering from poverty. Welfare would only be a memory.

Whiners of the year

WITH 1995 drawing to a close, I will nominate my favorite high-pitch whiner of 1995. It is a tie between Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh.

Something else

HOW DO I feel about a Missouri mule being displayed on the Missouri license plate? I would much rather see something pertaining to the Show Me State. That would suffice.

Long memory

YOUR EDITORIAL was right. We can put Mark Richardson's collision with a deer behind us, but no way am I ever going to forget that he slimed his way out of his drunken driving charge.

Small difference

THE COST difference between President Clinton's Medicare plan and the Republicans' Medicare plan is $7 per month, yet some retired callers would want us to believe that the Republican plan would rip them off unmercifully. After all, we paid it in and we deserve every penny the government sends us. Let me cite a statistic. Today, the average retiree receives five times more in government benefits than what they paid in during their working years. How, by any stretch of imagination, can they think they're being ripped off? I am paying more Social Security tax than income tax, and the average person who begins retirement in 1996 and beyond won't live long enough to receive all they contributed. If anyone has the legitimate right to complain about Social Security and Medicare, it's today's workers. They're the ones who are being ripped off. This small but vocal minority of whining seniors should do a little homework and then count their blessings.

Held hostage

NEWT GINGRICH and his cohorts are holding the government hostage to punish the poor and the elderly for being poor and elderly. I think the taxpayers should get together and withhold our taxes and show Newt Gingrich who is really boss.

Try term limits

JUST THINK if we could get term limits, the politicians in Washington wouldn't have to spend all of their time trying to get re-elected. We could then eliminate special-interest groups and payola in general in Washington. Then maybe the clowns could decide what's good for the country instead of their own wallets.

Satire's bite

MARC POWERS has learned an important lesson about writing satire: Most people simply do not get it. If he'd ever taught literature he would have known this fact. You can put up signs, billboards and flashing lights explaining what satire is, and most people will still take what is written literally. I'd recommend in the future Marc Powers use a pseudonym whenever decides to write a satirical work.

Not my Johnny

LOOKS LIKE Santa Claus brought a nice little BB gun gift to some little boy. I imagine if you asked the parents if it was their son, it wouldn't be their little Johnny. Little Johnny was sitting at home behind the stove doing his homework.

More parking

SEMO UNIVERSITY really needs high-rise parking. This should have been done 15 or 20 years ago. They are open all year around, and this would be a good reason for four or five high rise car parking.

Clinton and Reagan

I SEE in the paper that Slick Willie now is going to try to model himself after Ronald Reagan. Reagan was positive, and Slick thinks this might help him after all the corruption that's on him. I'll tell you something. I know Ronald Reagan, I remember him when he was president. Slick Willie, you're no Ronald Reagan.

It's not enough

IF CONGRESS balances the budget year after year, that would not mean a thing toward paying off the federal debt. They have to cut the debt.