MISSOURIANA

Technology experts say motorists will soon be able to get their e-mail while driving. Yeah, but who's going to peel their grapes?

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There are some things you can always count on, like the neighbor who wants to know if the weather's hot enough for you.

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It's difficult to realize summer is about over until you have seen a rerun of last year's canceled sitcom -- for the third time.

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You really know summer is over when your 6-year-old returns from the first day of school with a list of needed supplies that is longer than the Declaration of Independence.

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Kenneth Starr announces he'll be around until the 2000 elections. Kind of like the brother-in-law who moves in just until he can get another job.

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This is what's known as the Early Season. It's too early for candidates to discuss the issues but not too early to discuss your contribution to his campaign.

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It's difficult to treat seriously the learned views of a somber TV news commentator who shows up on the screen with a wig that remains askew until the first commercial break.