What a mess this whole sexual harassment stuff is: Roy Moore, Al Franken and even a revisit of allegations against Donald Trump and Bill Clinton. It appears the whole lot of humanity is just one huge helping of hormonal perversion.
I wasn’t there, so I don’t know, but as an outside observer, based on Moore’s interview with Sean Hannity, one would think either he had to be lying or he just had to be telling the truth — because no one could lie that bad. I mean, the interview was planned, not impromptu, so a liar would surely have had his tale better prepared, right? That interview was such a wreck, it’s hard to believe one could make it up. Again, either the absolute truth came off as a mess or a lie was poorly delivered. And I have no way of knowing which.
But I do have a question, and it’s not the typical question of “where were these women all these years?” You hear that all the time, but you also hear an answer to that all the time. Women who have been abused say it’s not easy to speak up. They’re threatened, made to feel ashamed, convinced no one will believe them and controlled by these men, who, often, are men of power and influence. Those who have not gone through it, just don’t get it, people say. They also say there’s strength in numbers, which explains why after one speaks up, another soon follows, then another, and another.
So that’s not my question. My question rests in something I’m hearing repeatedly these days with accusations raining down like rainwater: “Women have a right to be believed.” Everyone is saying it. When a woman accuses a man of sexual abuse or harassment, she must be believed. My question is simple: “Why?” Please note I’m not suggesting she should not be believed. I’m asking why she must be believed. Is it just because she’s a woman? Does being a woman somehow make her more virtuous than a man? Why is a woman who claims someone did do something to her more worthy of trust than a man who claims he did not do something?
Many women who say they’ve dealt with inappropriate behavior are telling the truth, no doubt.
But are there men who deny such allegations and are telling the truth? Aren’t such charges so serious, so life-impacting, even, that we need to dig in and try to find out what the truth is?
Sure, some of these things are so long ago or have no proof and become a he-said-she-said. But still, shouldn’t we try our best to get to the truth first before assuming that one person is telling the truth simply because of gender?
As it pertains to Moore, I have no idea. My reaction to his interview with Hannity was not to believe him because it was a disaster, but I cannot emphatically say the man is guilty. And I cannot emphatically say he is not. But somehow, some people can, which leaves me shaking my head.
You have a Republican Party that rushes to throw its own under the bus every time. That’s how the GOP rolls. It never will be accused of being the Party of loyalty. Its leadership doesn’t just say, “This is serious. We are looking deeply into this.” They say, “I have no reason not to believe these women. She is a woman and should, therefore, be believed. He should get out of the race.” Look, those who are guilty get what they get. But are they guilty? That’s the question — and it’s an important one.
Moore says he is not guilty. It looks like the women have nothing to gain in this, I know. I’ve heard it all. But there’s no accounting for why people do what they do. And, unlike the GOP, I have had no dreams telling me what really happened. Do I trust Moore? About as much as I trust any of these people I do not know. Do I trust the women? Same answer. So what I would like to have trust in is fairness that lets things play out somehow, without being told I have to believe certain people just because they wear panties instead of boxers. One thing the Republican Party must realize: If it keeps pushing people out who are simply accused, without waiting for concrete details, it will be the target of a tactic repeatedly used against its people because they’re easy pickings who run scared.
Let’s not forget about those who are determined to support Moore no matter what because they’re tired of the hypocrisy. Democrats shoved Bill Clinton’s mess under the mantle but want to massacre Moore, so they’re determined to make up for it by supporting him no matter what. This, too, is foolishness.
It’s all crazy and difficult to sift through. And, sadly, we may never know the truth. My plea, however, is that we, at the very least, commit ourselves to seeing what unfolds — with clear lenses. A woman does not deserve to be believed just because she is a woman. Nor does she deserve to be doubted. The same is true of men. The only thing that deserves anything is truth, and it deserves to be sought.
Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.
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