As usual, it's all about money

To be perfectly honest, I thought I would never again write the following words: World Famous Downtown Golf Course.

But that just goes to show you how things you thought were belly-up can be resurrected with an emergency infusion of the miracle elixir that counts the most when you're down and out: money.

See, it's like this. When Mayor Al gave up his title as Hizzoner a couple of years ago, he realized there was no way the municipal coffers could spare the cash needed to build the WFDGC I had been shamelessly plugging for years.

So he did the next best thing: He officially proclaimed the WFDGC to be the official downtown golf course of Cape Girardeau. This can be confirmed by looking at the solid-gold seal on the framed proclamation hanging on my office wall. I swear the embossed seal does not contain the words "Cracker Jack" anywhere.

I had hoped that the golf course might become a TIF project. You remember TIF? But our new mayor, Major-Domo Jay, said no. He was more interested in houses near a golf course than just a plain old golf course. I tried to explain that the Red House next to the downtown picture wall that keeps the trains from falling into the Mighty Mississippi ought to be taken into consideration. But the mayor said no. Again.

That's why you haven't heard anything about the WFDGC. Or the All-You-Can-Eat Catfish Buffet, for that matter. Without money, those projects were kaput.

Meanwhile, the good taxpayers of this fair land have seen fit to fork over $100 million for a new bridge, $50 million for a new federal courthouse, $46 million for the city's flood control, $36 million for the River Campus, $16 million for the water plant, $8 million for the Marquette Hotel and $25 million for the university's new polytechnic building, residence hall and parking garage.

Let's see. That comes to well over a quarter of a billion dollars. But who's counting?

All that money, and not a nickel for the WFDGC.

Just when the last glimmer of hope was flickering down to darkness, a blazing spotlight snapped on: NID. I never thought three letters of the alphabet could be so beautiful.

NID, which stands for something, is the latest financial lifesaver to be tossed to those of us dog paddling in a sea of fiscal uncertainty. NID is better than TIF, I'm told, because schools will get all their tax dollars -- and goodness knows they need every red cent they can get, what with MAP and all.

The best thing about NID is that the city came up with the idea. No more begging. No more bargaining. No more explaining why a project that would dump millions into the local economy is a good thing.

Of course, like anything else that sounds too good to be true, NID is raising a few eyebrows. Major-Domo Jay has not, for example, made time to visit with every developer in town to deliver the good news about NID. I mean, I had to find out about it by reading the local newspaper. And some coffee-shop sages wonder if NID bonds will be guaranteed, don't-worry-about-the-fine-print investments. Personally, I don't care -- just as long as the WFDGC gets its share of the loot. Caveat emptor, taxpayers.

Wait. That's not all. I've saved the best for last.

Our illustrious Major-Domo is also, in his spare time, a bank executive. It's perfectly clear to me that the mayor is pushing the NID plan because it makes darn good business sense -- plus, it comes with a great slogan: "Sell a Bond, Get a Boon!" What could possibly be wrong with that?

On the other hand, $281 million in taxpayer dollars is a lot of moola. So maybe a project that makes darn good business sense would also qualify for an ordinary bank loan.

What about it, Major-Domo? Can you spare a dime for the WFDGC?

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.