Zoos may benefit from treating folks like animals

Some people are just animals. At least that's the view of the London Zoo which briefly exhibited Homo sapiens in one of its zoo enclosures.

The eight scantily clad men and women were exhibited in a rocky enclosure behind a sign reading, "Warning: Humans in Their Natural Environment."

The men and women were exhibited side by side with their primate relatives, though the monkeys were separated from the Homo sapiens by an electric fence.

The human "animals" were chosen from an online contest, which clearly shows the value of the Internet.

Without such technology, it might be hard to bring together such a collection of human specimens short of visiting a neighborhood bar.

Personally, I think the zoo was right to exhibit humans although I'm sure it might have confused some children who clearly didn't expect to find anybody looking like their older relatives caged up in the place.

Of course, these human animals got a break that the zoo's other inhabitants never get: The exhibited men and women got to go home each night during the exhibit's four-day run.

With any luck, zoos around the world might soon take up the cause and start displaying various subsets of humans.

For example, the zoo in Washington, D.C., could showcase politicians. This would be a popular exhibit, particularly in an election year.

Republican politicians, of course, would have to be kept in a separate enclosure from their Democratic Party counterparts.

Perhaps the best solution would be to exhibit all of Congress. Zoo visitors then could watch lawmakers debate the merits of various legislation.

But more importantly they could see how politicians thrive on their soap boxes.

Government bureaucrats with their abundance of paperwork could be exhibited in a separate enclosure, but I doubt most people would find them entertaining.

Pampered athletes also would make for an interesting exhibit.

Terrell Owens comes to mind, although he probably would hold out for more money before he'd be willing to run any routes.

Some zoos might want to focus just on baseball. In such exhibits, no doubt, players like Rafael Palmeiro would be fed a steady diet of steroids.

Such exhibits, however, likely would require warning signs to alert sightseers to the danger of balls flying out of the yard.

Athletes aren't the only people who might draw a crowd.

Heckling sports fans and irritated referees might draw some interest too. Personally, it would be most entertaining if there could be some interaction between the two.

Zoo goers would feel like they suddenly were thrust into an ESPN broadcast.

Speaking of the sports channel, it no doubt would publicize such zoo exhibits. Zoos can't buy this kind of national publicity.

Short of mating pandas, there's nothing as exciting as human beings engaged in the antics of sports.

Let's face it, zoos have been showing off lions, tigers and bears for centuries.

It's about time that zoos find a new direction. Showing off people might be the best idea to hit zoos since the creation of those midget-sized zoo trains.

And in the end, zoo goers might find the most interesting animal looks just like them.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.