Watch the wording

Down through the years our language has changed a lot. All one has to do is go back and read from the old King James Bible and the difference is dramatic. I have a hard time understanding the old King James English. But not only have the basics of the language changed, but also a lot of words and what they mean. "Coke" back a bunch of years was a bottle of soda of some kind and not necessarily Coke. When we said we wanted a "coke" it might mean a Nehi Grape Soda. Today coke means something entirely different. We said "neat" a bunch of years ago, but I guess that's not in style today. When we moved south many waitresses have called me "honey." That wouldn't happen up north in Nebraska.

But words can mean a lot more, and we don't intend for them to. I'm at a friend's house and he gives me a cup of coffee. I comment that the coffee is really hot. He can take it as a compliment, where I'm saying the coffee is really hot and I like it, or he can take it as a complaint where I'm saying the coffee is too hot. What I could have said was: "The coffee is really hot, and I like hot coffee." Not much room for making a mistake on what I mean.

I'm visiting with one of my friends and I call them something like "partner" or "gal" or "buddy." I normally do this when I don't know one's name or when I can't remember their name. There's no harm intended, but one might take offense at being called one of these nicknames.

Marge has been gone for several days on a business trip. Well, the other day she called home and said the Southeast Missourian newspaper had called and wondered if we had gotten our Sunday newspaper yet. It turns out I'd gone down earlier and picked it up down by the road. What Marge asked was: "The newspaper had called and was wondering if we had gotten the Sunday edition." And then she added that since it was early she figured I'd been busy and hadn't had the time to go get it. I think she said it just right. What she didn't ask was "Have you gone down and gotten the newspaper?" A direct question that requires a direct answer. What it could have done was cause me to think she thinks I forgot or I'm slacking and just haven't gotten it.

Someone calls me and asks if I have tomatoes. I answer them that, yep, I have tomatoes. What I don't tell them is that they are from Yoders down at Aquilla. They have pretty good tomatoes. We bought some just to try them. A better way of asking is, "Do you have fresh, home-grown tomatoes from your place by Scott City?" Now that is specific. No room for error, mix-ups or wiggle room.

I normally have early tomatoes. This year I picked my first tomato in my high tunnels on May 3 and first outside tomato on May 10. They were early. So when I'm talking to someone, I don't ask them "Why haven't you gotten any tomatoes from your garden as of yet?" What I usually ask is, "How's your garden going?" I'm interested in their garden and usually wonder if I can help in some way. So I ask. Most aren't as focused on gardening as I am and there are a lot more who are way more intent than I am. I could probably garden year around but by fall I'm ready for a break.

Back in seminary when I took a preaching class we had to critique our classmates after they had spoken. It was not much fun at all. But we had to start with something positive no matter what. Always start with a positive. But we also had to end with a positive. We could critique in the middle. Overall, all of the critiques were beneficial and not really negative.

Some today say things to hurt or to wound someone. They don't use arrows or spears or bullets, but they hurt as much. Hurtful words hurt the spirit. Most everyone I know doesn't do this. They are sensitive to the feelings of others, so they choose their words very carefully. But then there are some who just speak and let it roll without even considering the feelings of others. These are people I don't want to be around in person or on Facebook.

I'm sorry if your feelings have been hurt by me or someone else. I wish it hadn't happened. Sometimes it helps to talk about it with a trusted friend. I don't think it helps to gossip about it. Gossiping just seems to feed the problem and make it worse. I don't like a gossiper. I don't want to be around them.

And then if you do let your mouth run away, you should ask for forgiveness. Never be so big or important that you can't seek forgiveness, no matter who the offended party is. There are times when we need to speak the truth to someone, but we can say the words out of love and not out of hate.

Until next time.