Tower Rock well worth the trip

East Perry County isn't for the weak of heart or those prone to car sickness.

I'd been there a few times for The Best Little Fair in the Land in Altenburg, which really is a cool fair. It's famous for jumping mules and bone-in fish sandwiches, but I've never really understood Southeast Missouri's general fascination with bone-in fish sandwiches. Is it a sandwich when you have to take the top off and pick the fish apart or risk a trip to the hospital?

The road from Cape Girardeau to Altenburg, a.k.a. Route C, has a total of five yards straight enough to pass the various agricultural implements, livestock trailers and pickup-driving centenarians you will encounter. All of the bridges are of the one-lane, "yield to oncoming traffic" variety. None of the "oncoming traffic" seems concerned that the yellow stripes in the middle of the road define their side as opposed to your side.

So I was a little concerned by my mission to travel to Tower Rock, which is in the greater Wittenberg metropolitan area, a few miles past Altenburg.

Nothing could have prepared me for the final approach to Tower Rock. County Road 460 is not fit for man nor beast -- except maybe a man in a Land Rover and a mountain goat.

But at the end of it all ... oh ... my ... goodness. Tower Rock is absolutely breathtaking. My story was about the low Mississippi River and how the drought up north was allowing people to walk out to a natural formation that normally would be inaccessible by land.

I interviewed a few of my fellow instant Tower Rock fans and then took photographer Fred Lynch's advice to walk out there. Fred, a mild-mannered photographer by day but a thrill-seeker on his vacations, convinced me to go the circumference of the formation, which covers about an acre.

My knees, I thought, looking at the rocky path. My knees will kill me if the inevitable fall doesn't.

But five minutes later, I was clinging to the side of the rock, the Mississippi seemingly a straight drop down.

"You've got plenty of room!" Fred yelled ahead of me. "Plenty of room!"

Apparently, Fred didn't calculate the width of my butt vs. the width of the rock ledge I was picking my way across, but somehow I made it all the way around without a call to 911.

But don't let that stop you. Take I-55 to Fruitland, take Route C to Altenburg, turn right onto Route A and then right again onto County Road 460. Don't park near the railroad tracks and be careful on the rocks.

And don't forget the Ben Gay for your knees.

Heidi Hall is managing editor of the Southeast Missourian.