STRANGER THAN FICTION: FORGET HYPE: TRUE LOVE COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES

Valentine's Day can be a good time to review every aspect of your "love life."

Well, Valentine's Day and all the associated hype is long over by now.

Either you got flowers or you didn't.

Either there was a romantic dinner or there wasn't. Either you kissed somebody goodnight or you went to bed alone.

No flowers or romantic dinners at our home this year -- we're saving for a trip and, as usual, were on opposite shifts at work. That's OK.

Believe it or not, you can give gifts on days not marked on your calendar.

Really! It works!

So I spent Valentine's Night alone, and the Ghost of Valentine's Day Past came for a visit. He showed me all those Valentine's Days spent without dates.

The flower delivery folks came in and out of the office with roses and balloons for everybody else.

I sat there trying to look happy for the other girls, just hoping one of those stops would yield at least a bud vase from some secret admirer. What a downer.

Everyone says there are things in their lives they'd like to go back and change -- that's not a new sentiment. So, I'm not too creative.

But here's what I'd do. I'd not believe the hype around St. Valentine's Day created by retailers trying to get from Christmas to Easter without going broke -- although those retailers keep newspapers afloat and thus I love them dearly.

Instead, I'd think about all the love that has nothing to do with a wide chest and bulging biceps.

Like the other night, I saw two grade-school girls holding hands, running through our apartment building's parking lot.

They were obviously making a quick trip from one apartment to another, giggling a little too loudly to drown out their fear of the dark. Each one made the other feel able to make it.

My best friend, Melissa, has been like that for me. We giggled our way through high school and fears about grades, parents and boys.

She held my hand through a messy break-up with first my parents and then the man they and I parted ways over.

She's still the first one I think to call when things get a little dark, and I love her for that.

I also love and miss my grandparents, who write from Cape Girardeau almost every month to say how much they enjoy my columns even when I know I've written a couple duds. I feel like they're my biggest fans. I'm certainly theirs.

Finally, there's my love of self, something that has taken a long time to achieve. Yes, I'm fat. Yes, I've got a bad perm. But in the words of Stuart Smalley, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

Of course, the kind of love that deals with wide chests and bulging biceps ain't bad, either.

So, to end on an up note, I've got to tell you about a wedding I covered for the newspaper on Saturday.

Martharae is 24. Bennett is 44. They met at work and had their first date on Valentine's Day, 1991. They found out immediately that they are very unique people and decided, if they could make it seven years, they would get married on Valentine's Day.

And since they are unique people, they decided to get married on a tour bus traveling from Pensacola, Fla., to a floating casino in Biloxi, Miss.

Instead of mailing out invitation cards, they mailed out engraved bus tickets. Instead of passing out matchbooks, they passed out scratch-off tickets. And the 41 friends and relatives who rode with them ate it up.

Why part with tradition? "Life is like a highway and like a gamble," Bennett explained.

Who can argue with that?

~Heidi Nieland is a former staff writer for the Southeast Missourian who now lives in Pensacola, Fla.