STRANGER THAN FICTION: FINDING VIRGUAL LOVE (OR AT LEAST A CUTE DATE)

Finding a decent man or woman to date these days is just too easy.

Back in my day (she said, leaning on her cane and rubbing her arthritic knees), we had to work for a date. We took what we could get, and we liked it!

Take the guys I dated. (Please.) The first one I met at church. The second one I met at church. The third one I met at church. Seeing a trend here?

Yes, the guys at my church were slightly nerdy, but they were convenient and my parents approved, dammit! Every last one of them was too skinny and had a skin condition. Our "dates" consisted of watching PG-rated videotapes in the family den.

And then there was the guy I met at the carnival. Like Picasso had his "Blue Period," this is commonly known as my "Skeezy Period."

I got a few dates through friends, met one at a nightclub and, after dating at least five total losers and several mediocre fellows, finally married a sweet guy from work.

The birth of the Internet changed the process for the succeeding generation of young hotties. My Fort Lauderdale buddy Tamika could date a different guy every weekend if she wanted to, thanks to the information superhighway. She met her current love, a degree-holding property management specialist with a gorgeous smile, through her online personal ad.

And now we have the latest thing for the young player: amihot.com. Or, for the computer illiterate, AM I HOT DOT COM.

I may not be hot, but I'm completely fascinated with this Web site. And so are my single friends across the country. One of them says he and his coworkers all log on together -- hopefully when the boss is out -- and compare notes on what they see.

Here's how it works:

Total masochists post their photos on the site. The computer randomly picks from the photos and posts them on the screen. The site visitor clicks on the appropriate rating -- one to 10 -- for the person in the photograph, the computer randomly picks a second photograph, the visitor rates that person and so on.

But here's the amazing part: People can click on a link that reads, "Wanna date Heidi Hall?" or whatever name the subject of the photo has chosen. It's just that easy.

Or you can click on "search" and type in the parameters for the person you want to meet. Age, location, gender and so on. That means you can find dates right here in Cape Girardeau.

Even if you aren't looking for a date, go to amihot.com and help me out. Click on "search" and look for people within one mile of 63701.

You'll find six participants called "flatmate" followed by a number. The six of them share a house in Cape Girardeau "Real World"-style, except that the girls have a separate apartment, there are no television cameras, no one is dating anyone else in the house and the residents aren't all physically ideal total jerks.

("Real World" my eye. Who in the real world gets to have their bills paid by MTV? Give me a break.)

Please rate the flatmates for a story we're doing on this amazing trend. Type in "online dating services" into your Yahoo! search engine and you get 54 sites. I suspect there are many more, depending on your search.

And for those of you without home computers ...

Uh, see you at the carnival.

Heidi Hall is managing editor of the Southeast Missourian.