STRANGER THAN FICTION: AN OPEN MIND FACES A CHALLENGE

When Travis, a gay friend of mine, said he was scheduled to speak at the Gay Pride gathering in St. Louis, I immediately said I'd be there.

Travis had been there for a few high and low points in my life, and the least I could do was lend a little support while he spoke to thousands of people. Have an open mind, I told myself.

What I'd committed to sunk in later. Travis was speaking to thousands of GAY people, for heaven's sake! We would be operating in HIS territory instead of mine.

Let me qualify that. The world is pretty much geared toward straight people, so nobody stares if I walk along holding hands with a boyfriend. Television is dominated by sitcoms about straight couples and their families, and everyone pretty much assumes everyone else is straight until proven otherwise.

I fit in well with that world and like it very much. After all, as long as I'm comfortable, that's the important thing, right?

Slowly, I began concocting a good excuse for Travis why I wouldn't be in Forest Park last Sunday. Uh...my cat got sick. My grandparents unexpectedly came into town. My great-aunt Lula died. ANYTHING!

But then Suzanne, another straight friend of Travis', asked if she could ride up with me. There was no way out. What was more, she wanted to see the parade preceding the speeches.

Last Sunday, we lined up with the other sightseers along Euclid Avenue. I have a slight measure of gaydar -- what gays say they use to detect other gays -- and it was becoming apparent that not many straight people turned out for the event. There were a few, however, and some even marched in the parade.

And the parade! There were some interesting slogans being chanted, including the one by the Gay and Lesbian Physicians Association that we~nt, "Two, four, six, eight, don't assume your doctor's straight!"

I always assumed my doctor was straight. But now I just wonder.

Other groups marched, too, and most of the people looked like anybody else.

But then came the drag queens, and I got the shock of my life.

A man I used to go to church with is now a drag queen, complete with peach chiffon and a diamond tiara. This is the absolute truth. It was all I could do to remain upright after I saw him, but he just waved and was as friendly as he...she...could be.

Another friend of mine from high school rushed up and gave me a big hug. I'd always suspected Michael was gay, but now things became pretty clear. Of course, he was probably thinking the same thing about Suzanne and me.

The speeches were pretty interesting and full of a lot of "Who here is out and proud?" followed by screaming and applause.

Suzanne and I sat quietly. We were just out in the park.

Travis' speech was great. He spoke about the need to be yourself despite bigotry. He spoke about love for God and neighbor. I could agree with just about everything he said, but I was still very uncomfortable.

Then it occurred to me. This event wasn't about making me comfortable, it was about people with similar feelings and ideas coming together to share them. I'm comfortable at any other large gathering, where straight people and issues dominate the crowd and where opposite-sex couples walk arm-in-arm. At those same gatherings, perhaps the people at the Gay Pride event felt the way I did on Sunday.

Maybe one day we won't pigeonhole everyone according to his or her sexual preference, but right now I just can't help it. The same fears and stereotypes that were supposed to disappear when I left my parents' home and became "enlightened" are still there to some degree. I don't see myself attending another Gay Pridefest any time soon.

It's easy to think you have an open mind if it's never challenged.

~Heidi Nieland is a member of the Southeast Missourian news staff.